rob dorn

My friend Barb needs your help...

2010-11-20T14:57:00.005-06:00

My friend Barb performed and sang regularly at a restaurant near her home in Colfax, California. Sadly, last Thursday it burned to the ground.

Here is a message she sent out via facebook:

As you have seen from my postings the past couple of days, my beloved Giovanni's burned down on Thursday night. This left 27 of my friends/family suddenly unemployed just before the holidays. We are putting together a fundraising event for the Giovanni's Employee Relief Fund and it will be held in Colfax on Dec. 12th so save the date. (if you have anything to contribute to the silent auction let me know)

However, in the short term we want to pass out the fixings for a Thanksgiving meal for all 27 employees on Monday as they gather together to fill out the necessary paperwork for unemployment etc.. Our dear friends Carl and Jeanne Wagner have contacted Sierra Market in Colfax who will be providing everything they need at a great discount (turkey, stuffing, cranberries, green beans, pie, etc.). Carl will be picking up the food tomorrow and we will be collecting immediate donations to cover the cost of these meals. Can I count on you for a donation? Anything collected above and beyond the cost of the food will be deposited into the above mentioned relief fund so any and all donations are greatly appreciated.

Please let me know your contribution and if you are local I can pick it up from you tomorrow otherwise feel free to mail your contribution directly to the relief fund:

Make checks payable to
Giovanni's Employee Relief Fund
P.O. Box 1093
Colfax, CA 95713

God Bless you all and thanks in advance for digging deep for my friends.

Thirty Two Feet and Eight Little Tails...

2010-11-18T14:54:00.003-06:00

I rehearsed with John Behling the other night. Here is a holiday song my Mom used to play and sing on our hammond organ.

Threads of Silk: A Gala To Benefit Silk Road Theatre Project

2010-11-09T08:06:00.000-06:00

This Saturday I will be taking part in a benefit for the Silk Road Theatre Project.

Saturday, November 13th, 2010 - 5:30 - 9:30 pm
The Narcissus Room
Macy's on State Street
111 North State Street, 7th Floor, Chicago, IL

5:30 Cocktails
6:30 Buffet Dinner
7:00 Cabaret Begins

An exquisite dining experience featuring cuisine inspired by cultures along the Silk Road. Guests can also enjoy luscious Silk Road Cocktails created exclusively for Threads of Silk by Adam Seger, one of Chicago's hottest and hippest mixologists. And while you dine, enjoy the fun and ever - so - lovely music of the Silk Road Cabaret Singers in a performance emceed by WTTW's Cheryl Hamada.

Tickets: $125 per person
To purchase, call the Silk Road Theatre Project box office at 312-857-1234 ext. 201 or email boxoffice@srtp.org

Door prizes and more!
You chance to win original art work, premium tickets to cultural and sporting events, and more!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-27T08:49:00.000-05:00

Jason and I as Bert and Ernie

Are you going to any Halloween parties this year? I always have great ideas and plans for costumes but never get around to and/or find the time to put it together.

However, a few years ago at the very last minute, Jason and I decided to go as Bert and Ernie. It was about 2 in the afternoon and the party was THAT night. All we had was the rubber ducky.

So off we went on a Sesame Street inspired scavenger hunt. We went to the Fantasy Costumes on Milwaukee Avenue. We actually found the appropriate yellow and orange make-up as well as gloves that matched!
We found the rest at a local Marshalls. We won the costume contest and we ended up being featured the next year in the Chicago Tribune in a photo slideshow featuring the best costume ideas!

This year... I will be doing War of the Worlds at Skokie with Rick Kogan and hopefully at some point or another this coming weekend, I will get out and see everybody dressing up, etc. Who knows what last minute costume idea I might come up with.

Rob Dorn: Wonderland

2010-10-17T09:06:00.000-05:00

Step into a “wonderland” of early 60’s holiday nostalgia with Rob Dorn, featuring songs from his CD aptly titled “Wonderland,” and his own personal christmas memories and stories, including a tribute to all those great holiday specials we grew up with!
Click here for more information about the CD featuring songs from the show and listen to sample audio clips.

“Rob Dorn: Wonderland” is being presented December 11th at The Skokie Theatre. Click here to purchase tickets.

War of the Worlds: A Radio Play

2010-10-09T21:55:00.000-05:00

Three Cat Productions is thrilled to announce a special Halloween performance of HG Wells’s “The War of the Worlds”. This special performance will feature Rick Kogan and Rob Dorn with all proceeds benefiting the Skokie Theatre. The rare performance of the Halloween classic will take place on October 31st at 2:00pm at the Skokie Theatre Music Foundation.

“The War of the Worlds” was originally performed on the radio, October 30, 1938 as part of the Mercury Theatre on the Air. Directed and narrated by Orson Welles, the 60 minute broadcast was presented as a series of news bulletins suggesting an actual alien invasion. Reportedly, the broadcast caused wide spread panic specifically for those who missed the opening explanation.

Come find out why radio listeners where in a panic. “The War of the Worlds” featuring WGN Radio Personality Rick Kogan and Chicago’s celebrated performer Rob Dorn will be performed at Skokie Theatre Music Foundation, 7924 N. Lincoln Avenue, Skokie, Illinois 60077 on October 31, 2010 at 2:00pm. Tickets are $30 in advance and $35 at the door. All proceeds benefit the Skokie Theatre Music Foundation. You can order tickets by calling 847-677-7761 or visit skokietheatre.com.

Rob Dorn will co-host Skokie Theatre Benefit

2010-10-09T21:01:00.001-05:00

Three Cat Productions has gathered together some of the best performers from past productions to create a benefit for Skokie Theatre Music Foundation with “The Best of Three Cat Productions”. The evening of excellent entertainment takes place on October 16th at 8:00pm at the Skokie Theatre Music Foundation.

Hosted by Jason Paul Smith and Rob Dorn, the evening will highlight past Three Cat shows at the Skokie Theatre Music Foundation including “Golly Gee: Broadway of the 1950s”, “Bab Fab” and “The Stops”.

Performers are some of Chicago’s leading cabaret and musical theatre talent including, Guitarist John Behling, John B. Boss, Amy Cole, Jeff Dean, Meredith Freyre, Carla Gordon, Steve Kimbrough, Roberta Miles, Paul Motondo, Marianne Murphy Orland, Melissa Young and more!

Musical accompaniment will be provided by the talented Kevin Disch. It is bound to be an evening full of excitement and surprises!

“The Best of Three Cat Productions” will be happening at Skokie Theatre Music Foundation, 7924 N. Lincoln Avenue, Skokie, Illinois 60077. Tickets are $30 in advance and $35 at the door. You can order tickets by calling 847-677-7761 or you can order them online.

Sandy...

2010-04-10T21:01:00.000-05:00

I just found this film trailer. It's a documentary about Bill Berloni who trains dogs for Broadway shows. He is most notable for discovering and trianing the first Sandy in the original production of Annie.
He talks about how he first met the original Sandy. Get your kleenex ready.

Find more videos like this on Annieorphans.com

What a great goal it would be to...

2010-04-05T20:14:00.000-05:00

... post something every day.
It's not that difficult, is it?
I will post some pix and links of things I have been working on.

Stephen Wallem plays Thor on Showtimes, “Nurse Jackie.” I seriously could not be more proud of this guy and so delighted that he asked me to re-design his website.

BAB FAB is coming. Three Cat Productions annual birthday tribute to Barbra Streisand. I get SO excited each year. This year, Matt Howe of the barbra-archives website is taking part! Here is a link to Matt's amazing site. And here is a link to get more info about BAB FAB

Above is a poster I had on my wall by my bed all throughout my childhood... I loved it. My Dad had it mounted on foam board. I loved, loved, loved it. Sadly, I cannot find it anywhere... even online. Do YOU know where to get one?

I had a funny realization the other day. You see, when I was a toddler, I drove my parents nuts because I would take things and hide them. For instance, my Dad had to have every single key he owned and every lock replaced. And just as he finished this enormously annoying project, he found the keys behind some books on the shelf. I had put them there. Well, I guess it is all coming around full circle, because with my ADD, I am ALWAYS forgetting where I put things or I just happen to put things in really stupid places and then later, I can't find them. So it's like my inner toddler, alive today, STILL hiding things.

I am such a little devil.

Oscars...

2010-03-08T10:29:00.000-06:00

WEIRD! And so poorly directed and technically managed. I thought that the sets were wonderful. But they were so noisy! Sound was terrible. We were listening in surround sound and there was absolutely no rhyme or reason to how the sound was coming from the telecast. Sometimes we would hear applause behind us... from out of nowhere. And how interesting to continually hear people muttering stuff when their microphones were supposed to be off. And how rude to just turn the sound OFF when it was time for the winner to leave the stage.
Everyone for the most part looked good. Although I am not so sure I like this new Flamenco Dancer look. Zac Efron needs to be a grownup now and comb his hair. The girl from Twilight needs to be excited to be ON the Oscars and cover your mouth when you cough. SO tacky. Happy to see Barbra give out the directors award. It looked like she was wearing a version of what she wore on her Broadway Album.
I thought the pairing of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin was genius and could very well spark the beginning of a new comedy team. They need to be put into a movie together pronto.
Sandra Bullocks speech and her references to Meryl Streep as her lover were hysterical.
LOVED the tribute to John Hughes.
The tribute to the artists who have died was thoughtless. First of all about two or three people were honored and you couldn't even see who it was. And I don't like the guest vocalist singing during this. It's distracting.
So overall I give the production as a whole a C.
Sets get an A.
Steve and Alec get an A.
Oh and one last thing. Neil Patrick Harris... Emmy's yes. Oscars No.

Oscars tomorrow...

2010-03-06T11:48:00.000-06:00

... and I am non-plussed. I think we are going to an Oscar party down the street. I have seen “Up” and “Precious” and that is about it. I always enjoy the festivities of it all and to see what everyone is wearing, etc. But I suppose it helps to have seen the movies. Oh well. I will look at this in some regards as a great big commercial FOR the movies of 2009... wait... you don't think that that is what this really is all about do you? (I am being sarcastic) OF COURSE it's what it's all about. But this day and age it's not about being urged to go OUT and see movies, it's all about being urged to wait patiently for films to come out on Demand or Net Flicks... or both.

a new look for my blog...

2010-02-23T17:32:00.000-06:00

I was bored with the old look and so I tweaked a little here and there. It's kind of like my version of knitting.

My house is a mess. It looks like the set of a Sam Shepherd play. My office, you don't even want to know. I skyped a friend the other day and realized that he could see into my office and he asked me if I was a hoarder.

Am I a hoarder? I must admit that when I watch shows about hoarding on television, I can hear distant bells ringing. This tells me that I have the tendency to hoard. I have saved a lot of things. I look to my left and there stacked on top of a cabinet are ALL the journals I have ever had. Parker likes to sit on top of them. I like that he sits on top of them. It's a high perch.

To my right is an Ikea pet bed shaped like a flower with my teenage daughter George sleeping in it. George as you might know is my fourteen year old girl cat. We have been through a lot together.

But I DO hoard. Ok, I admit it. I come from a family that hoards. Yes, Dad you reading this, let's just admit it. We have LOTS of stuff. Don't even get me started on my younger brother Paul.

There are plus sides to hoarding... I can see what I wrote on my eighth grade notebook and laugh. Cherish those eighth grade memories. I can rifle through every cassette tape I ever taped upon. Even if I don't have the equipment anymore to listen or watch them. I KNOW that there is stuff on those tapes and when I see them, I remember them.

Someone once said that instead of keeping all this junk you should just take pictures of it. Document it for yourself, put it in a scrapbook... NOT TOO MANY SCRAPBOOKS MIND YOU and throw or give it away.

I have always admired the paperless office.
I have also admired sky diving and the Taj Mahal.

And that is just about where I shall end this entry.

105-year-old retirement-home resident can still sing - chicagotribune.com

2010-02-05T10:46:00.000-06:00

105-year-old retirement-home resident can still sing - chicagotribune.com

Posted using ShareThis

Cold...

2010-01-28T11:42:00.000-06:00

It is so cold in our house! I think it's because all of or most of our radiators were turned off. Before when it wasn't THAT cold, I turned them off because THEN it was too hot. I don't mind though. It's not that bad. But I am going to go around and turn the radiators on. Isn't this officially my stupidest blog entry ever?

Carol Burnett...

2010-01-18T17:03:00.000-06:00

Riding high off of the 50's Broadway show, I wanted to share a bit of my research, most notably this video of Carol Burnett singing the song “Shy” from a tv version of “Once Upon a Mattress.”

This was restaged for television but gives you an idea of what her stage performance must have been like.

The down side of top siders...

2010-01-12T09:35:00.000-06:00

I have worn some pretty ridiculous outfits in my past. I'm not talking about that big bird outfit I wore as a singing telegram messenger, I am talking about some of my chosen articles of clothing at various times in my life. Unfortunately, my early adult years took place in the 1980's. Early, early on in perhaps 1980 or 81, I went through a brief preppie stage. I wore Izod sweaters like everyone else, but I didn't feel I had completed my mission. I stumbled upon a picture in GQ and decided that THAT was what I wanted to look like and so, I went out in public (to the theatre no less) dressed as such...

We will start with a pink shirt and blue and green striped tie. Slip on some pink socks to match the pink shirt. For footwear, we will step into a pair of boat shoes or deck shoes... you know, Topsiders... the ones with the white rubber bottoms... Add a blue blazer with brass buttons and wait I am not finished... the pants... the pants were the best part in fact, the outfit doesn't really sound THAT bad but the pants took it over the edge. I had on a pair of khaki pants. Khaki pants?What is so “edgy” about that? Well let's just say that all over the pants were green embroidered whales!!!!!!!

I went out in public like that! I traipsed all through London almost as bad or maybe worse. Oh wait, yes, it was worse. Because I had a really neat - o matchy outfit that involved a red and blue thing horizontal striped polo shirt, a pair of bright red golf pants... the top siders and best of all and the finishing touch, a red beret. Oh for the love of god!!!! And the perm... the full afro head of dishwater blonde bouncy curls I attained from a beauty school student who cursed through the whole process and burned the back of my neck. I must say that I looked very much like an attractive lesbian woman for several years in my early adult years. Oh wait, ditch the attractive part.

No wonder I am bald now... my hair finally HAD it with me. “Yo, Dorn, down there underneath us, yeah, YOU! We are checking out buddy... no more follicle folly's for us. But don't worry, we will leave you slowly. The guys in the back will go first so that you won't really notice. But soon, soon you will just give up and put us ALL out of our misery with an electric razor.”

The worst was yet to come though because of a thing called, “Willie Wear.” These were baggy suits made of cotton material or sear-sucker and you would wear it either with just a t-shirt underneath or worse, a dress shirt (vibrant color preferred) and a BOLO TIE!!!!!!!!!

My friend Eric and I both had Willie Wear outfits and we proudly wore them to one of my first cabaret performances at The Raccoon Club in Chicago. I tried to find an image on google but there doesn't seem to be ANYTHING... it's as if Willie Wear just self destructed and left no evidence of ever having existed. But it did. Because I WORE it.

Eventually I would tire of Members Only Jackets and trendy trendy clothes that were in style for ten minutes at a time. Even my stone washed jeans and matching 80's jacket with the leather on the very broad shoulders.

My favorite era and and era of clothes I actually miss were the black turtle neck, jeans and combat boot uniform of the gays. I like wearing that. And let's see, what else? Maybe the t-shirt blazer with rolled up sleeves phase I went through in college. That was nice.

But as for those whale covered khakis... thank heavens they are now an endangered species of clothing... that is until those crazy young kids want to dress the kooky way mom and dad did when they were kids... or dare I say now, the kooky way grandma and grandpa dressed!!!

a memory...

2010-01-11T09:34:00.000-06:00

I will wake up in the morning with a collection of memories. As if they come in packets. There is always the lead memory and then a bunch of fringe memories bubbling up around the main memory. This is THIS morning's memory...

I am in grade school in the cafeteria that has been transformed into the assembly hall (after having been a gym...) and metal folding chairs are placed in rows in three sections. I am at this thing called an “assembly.” It may have been the very first one I ever attended. What strikes me most interesting are the gaggle of teachers who are suddenly up on stage in a large group and they begin to sing the song “Kids,” from “Bye Bye Birdie.” I can remember Miss Talbert most of all. I remember thinking it odd to see our teachers up there on the stage (Oh forgot to mention that at the end of the cafeteria/gymnasium is a small stage.) It's odd to see our teachers looking so vulnerable.

And now the fringe memories... all related to this.

I remember Sandy Whitting and Jay Vandewalker suddenly appearing in winter coats, hats and mittens skipping up the aisle and singing “Christmas is Coming, the goose is getting fat...” I am awestruck by Sandy's amazing singing voice. She reminds me of Darla Hood from the Our Gang movies. I am wondering why and how they are suddenly now stars of the school up on stage singing and so well rehearsed with lines to say and more songs to sing... HOW did they (especially Jay) get to DO this? I WANNA DO THIS!!!

I remember my fifth grade teacher Mr. Tyrone. He had MS. He was in a wheel chair, a young man actually in his mid twenties. He was the teacher every fifth grader wanted to have and I was one of the lucky ones who got him. If you were in Mr. Tyrones class, you were a celebrity. He was different than all the teachers. Never had there been a teacher like this. He had a different way of teaching history for example. He would just TELL us the stories in a modern way. “So this Columbus dude... he decided he was tired of where he lived and wanted to find other places to go to and see... so he gets on this big ship and...” Never did I learn as much and as well in his class. Best of all, he played the guitar and wrote an original song for our grade school that WE, the celebrity class got to SING ONSTAGE at the assembly. Here are the lyrics to the song we sang:

(Sung against a rock and roll guitar beat)

H-I-G-H-L-A-N-D-S

WE ALL LOVE OUR SCHOOL

BECAUSE WE'RE COOL!!!!

H-I-G-H-L-A-N-D-S

Mr. Tyrone's health faded during the year but he kept on teaching. Even though he now was unable to walk with his crutch (as he did sometimes) he now remained in his wheel chair and had thick, thick glasses he needed to see the text book (his special one with the great big letters). But he still told us stories, he still got his guitar out and he taught us until that very last day of school. I think he died a couple of years later. But I am telling you, he truly was the Coolest teacher that there EVER was. And we all loved HIM because HE was cool.

Requiem for a Standing Ovation...

2010-01-08T22:44:00.000-06:00

I saw Funny Girl down at the Drury Lane Oakbrook. Taking Barbra out of it all makes you realize that it is a very interesting stage musical even without her presence. It has been said that much of the musical was fabricated and fictional, but the fact that it is a memory play and that we are reliving the events as Fanny remembers them makes the fiction make sense and work.

They chose to not play the overture. They played the first bars of it but then all of a sudden Fanny is up on stage looking up at a big picture of herself and saying the infamous opening phrase, “hello gorgeous!”

Sara Sheperd physically was perfect to play Fanny Brice in some ways resembling her more than Barbra did. I thought she nailed “Coronet Man.” What a great song. She also was terrific with “The Music That Makes Me Dance,” starting out a capella in her dressing room and then walking out onto the stage to finish the song. The actress playing Mrs. Brice was great. So was Eddie Ryan. Set, costumes were stellar. Great tenor singing “You are the beautiful reflection” but the stage version of this song is so condensed it isn't nearly as effective as the film version. But then the film had hundreds of Ziegfield Girls and Drury Lane had six. Granted, it's difficult to re-create ANY kind of Ziegfield ANYTHING.

As I have been seeing a lot of theatre lately, we are certainly being VERY generous with our standing ovations. It seems to be the norm now. People just stand up and applaud. Granted there are the people who start the standing o's but then everyone just stands up (some of them starting to leave)... lots of people stand up then to be able to see the stage. It just doesn't seem authentic to me anymore. Especially how we are programmed by television and this age of American Idol.

This is what wikipedia says about applause:

It's a word from Latin language , is the expression of approval by the act of clapping the palms of the hands together to create noise. Audiences are applaud after a performance or play.

The custom of applauding is old . The Romans had a set ritual of applause for public performances, expressing degrees of approval: snapping the finger , clapping with the flat palm e.t.c.
In the 4th and 5th centuries applause had become an established custom.
In Germany applause during the performance and "calling before the curtain" have been forbidden.
In most countries, audience members clap their hands at random to produce a noise. As a form of mass nonverbal communication, it is a simple indicator of the average relative opinion of the entire group; the louder and longer the noise, the stronger the sign of approval.
In other cultures, audiences clap rhythmically in unison, about two claps per second, to indicate approval.

I fear that standing at the end of a show is now becoming just the thing you do. So where will this evolve? If you REALLY and TRULY enjoy a performance, what should you do? Take off your clothes?

TWENTY ten

2010-01-01T13:24:00.000-06:00

One of my New Years resolutions is to write in my blog more often. Dare I say on a regular basis? 2009 had it's ups and downs. Lots of good ups though and that is what I am going to focus on.

I have many happy performance memories from 2009. First of all, the show I did with Laura Freeman, “The Judy Garland Duets” at Davenports in June. We had a blast (and with Beckie Menzie no less) and will be reprising the show this coming year at the Wilmette Theatre in August. My old school chums, Dale Ballew AND Jim Snyder were in the audience on separate occasions and many many friends, fans and peers supported us and came to our show. Thank you all for coming!

We had another good round of BabFab. Sold out show. And speaking of Bab... or rather, Barbra, I got to see her perform in person (once again!) when she appeared on Oprah... I was in the audience with Jason and Matt Howe (of the Barbra-archives.com) and HIS partner. What a Barbra Love fest. Yay! I was very pleased with the universe when all that came about.

I performed with Laura (again) and Beckie Menzie and Tom Michael (cabaret luminaries) at Skokie Theatre in November. We did a tribute to the Hit Parade music of the 20th Century... covering each decade. It was fun. I especially enjoyed belting it out with Mr. Michael.

I was very pleased to continue my work designing websites and promo postcards for lots of re-occuring and new clients. How satisfying to see the piano at Davenports covered with promo cards and so many of them were my design. Thanks people for choosing and trusting me to design for you.

Had a fun family reunion this summer... my Mom's side of the family and her sister Doris and many a Stangland! What a great group of people. And I got to see my Uncle Bill one last time. He was such the great big wonderful Uncle you remember as a kid. The kind of guy who could pick you up and toss you in one full swoop. Whenever I see a football game on TV, I will think of Uncle Bill.

Three Cat Productions bloomed in 2009 and we have a full season for 2010. I have always wanted to have an opportunity to create shows and work with lots of talented people and that is coming into fruition. Our first show, “Golly Gee! The Broadway Musicals of the 1950's” will occur on January 16th at Skokie Theatre. Click here for tix and info. It features myself, Paul Motondo, Natalie Myre and Elizabeth Doyle (who also accompanies us).

Home life is good. Our cats are healthy. Parker (the youngest) has come into his own. What a happy friendly cat he is and a delightful personality. We were looking at his baby pictures yesterday... we are such proud kitty parents.

Another highlight for me was hanging out in my hometown of Dundee with some old High School buddies - Jim Becker, Tracey Thayer, Carol Doederlien and Barb Black. We drove around in a vintage mustang convertible and didn't really care at all that it was raining on us.

All in all, the best part of this year is not only being back in touch with old friends (via the marvel of Facebook) but making new friends and continuing to enjoy and build upon the friendships and relationships I already have. Appropriately, our year ended with a party at our home filled with friends.

Now that we are past the “Aughts” or is it “oughts?” Now that we are passed the single digit years of this century, we come to the question whether to say Two Thousand and Ten or TWENTY ten. I like twenty ten and it must makes sense. We never said One Thousand Nine Hundred and Seventy Three... did we? So let's all say it together... TWENTY ten.

Follow up to the “Dorothy Diary...”

2009-12-24T13:24:00.000-06:00

You cannot imagine how SMALL it is.

There is no way I can even write in it. Unless I maybe wanted to do just ONE thing a day. Which maybe isn't a bad idea. But none the less, I am glad I have it just to have it. It IS cute. But will sit on the shelf as a collectable. I was thinking I could scan the pages and make it bigger... but that is a LOT of work.

I am such a freak about planners and diaries that it scares me.

I am scared of it.

And lately too I have been obsessed with my computer. I can't seem to pull myself away.

Anyone else have this issue?

me bad blogger...

2009-11-21T14:08:00.000-06:00

Wow. I dropped in on my blog and realized I haven't dumped my thoughts for months! Well, I HAVE dumped thoughts but just not in this blog. There are so many outlets now TO dump thoughts. Blogs, Twittering, Facebook... a tad overwhelming for me, the Prince of ADHD.
I'd better keep typing or I will forget what I was typing about.

My brain. Sigh... I need potassium perhaps. Just the other day I was attempting to tell a joke to my Dad and I couldn't remember the word Alzheimers... suddenly it was that taboo game where you are trying to describe a word and you can't say the word (which I couldn't because I didn't remember it...) “You know, Dad... that... word... where people can't remember things... ”

The joke was super lame too. I am proud of my ability to tell the WORST joke and even MAKE UP the worst jokes. It's a skill. A super power perhaps. My Mom, Dad and brother had visited San Antonio and I said to my Dad, “It's a good thing you didn't have alzheimers because you were able to ‘remember the Alamo...’”
I know.
I know.
Bad. Just plain bad. And it delights me. If an audience groans I know I did my job.

I am realizing that I am most likely not spelling alzheimers correctly as it is highlighted after I type it. It is telling me that I didn't spell it correctly. But I can't remember how to spell it.

“TOUCH ME... it's so EASY to LEEEEAAVVVE Me... ”

Talk to you later.

The Dorothy Diary... I'm not kidding.

2009-09-26T11:05:00.000-05:00

I am a self proposed planner/diary/journal junkie. I mean, seriously ill with this obsession. And what do I say to that? “Oh well... too bad.” Some folks like their vodka, their crack... I like me a planner.

So with 2010 coming, I have been contemplating what my planner for the new year will be. Planning my planner... (see?)

I have been using the planner pad which is/was delightful... a bit large, but that was 2009... an oversized agenda type year. I have been scouring websites and googling “cool new planner” and other such phrases to seek out my 2010 edition.

Well, randomly, I discovered a site called “writers bloc” and have discovered the “Dorothy Diary.” Yes, I hear it shouting across the heavens and the city at large... that has to be one of the gayest things ever invented... but honestly, I HAD to have conjured this up and it manifested itself from my own sheer will. THIS is the coolest agenda I have EVER seen. It's small. But it's is thorough and totally AWESOME! It's undated so it can start at any time. It has stickers! (an obsession in tandem with planners) and it's all about the original illustrations by my hero, W.W. Denslow.

Had you been watching me from across the room as I was googling and surfing, you would have saw my eyes widen and a rather boisterous, “hell-O!!!!!” fill the room. And the fact that it IS called the “Dorothy Diary” just cracks me up! As a journal to Anne Frank was her companion, I will definitely be a “freind” of my Dorothy diary... and look forward to receiving it soon. (Without thinking I ordered it up. But restrained myself to just utilize regular shipping and handling.)

Yay!

Summers end...

2009-09-08T17:37:00.000-05:00

Really? Summer is over?
Whoooosh!!!! That is the sound it made.
Did you hear it?
“Who“ was June, “ooo” was July and “sh” was August.
Many people I have spoken with are in fear of the cold setting in. But as far as I am concerned, SUMMER was such a surprise weather wise, we really have no idea what is in store for Autumn.
I have always loved this time of year. I was one of those geeks who LOVED the fact that school was starting again. Just to go and get school supplies! My niece is in College now. So fun to see her in pictures, enjoying it and acting crazy and having so much fun. College truly was a great time.
Autumn.
College.
The smell of burning leaves.
The first brisk night...
...in late, LATE November.

I am organizing my office and going through the piles and piles of paper one at a time.

I am avoiding doing it right now as I type this.
Nothing to really say.
Just procrastinating.
Worthless usage of cyber space.
Cyber clutter... as I avoid real clutter.

Ok... I am off.

Reading the Oz books...

2009-08-21T17:27:00.000-05:00

Before I set out to illustrate the first book, I thought I would re-read some of these if not all of these great books. Some I haven't read since I was a teenager!
The entire set to the left is available at “Books of Wonder” click here. For a couple hundred bucks you can own all of them! Quite a deal and all of these are reproductions of the originals with all the wonderful Ozzy artwork. W. W. Denslow AND John R. Neill were both illustrator heroes of mine. If you don't want to buy them, they should be available at your library. Or maybe the text might be online somewhere! All of it is public domain I think.

Here (from Books of Wonder) are all the books and a description of each story...

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz #1

This stunning edition of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz features color pictures on nearly every spread. Denslow's 24 stunning color plates capture the high points of Dorothy's adventures, while his 130-plus two-color illustrations surround the text, fill the margins, even have the text printed over them.

The Marvelous Land of Oz #2
Here is the story of a boy named Tip and his travels through the endlessly fascinating land of Oz. Along the way he meets up with our old friends the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman as well as new friends like Jack Pumpkinhead, H.M. Wogglebug, T.E., and the wooden Sawhorse. Their efforts to thwart the wicked plot of the evil witch Mombi and the revolt of the women of Oz.

Ozma of Oz #3
Ozma of Oz -- Baum's third magical adventure set in Oz -- reunites readers and listeners of all ages with Dorothy Gale of Kansas as she makes her second journey to Oz. Here you will meet such beloved old friends as the Scarecrow, Tin Woodman, and Cowardly Lion. You'll also meet new favorites like the Hungry Tiger, whose appetite is never quite satisfied; Billina, the tart-tongued hen; and that ozzy marvel: Tik-Tok the mechanical clock-work man.

Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz #4
Now that Dorothy's found a way to get to Oz, there's no keeping her on the farm. In Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz, a California earthquake sends Dorothy, her kitten Eureka, her cousin Zeb, and his horse Jim on a fantastic journey through underground fairy realms. And who should they meet below the earth, but the Wizard of Oz himself! Together they make their way to Oz, where even more surprises await them.

The Road to Oz #5
Dorothy is on The Road to Oz again! Joined by new friends Shaggy Man, Button Bright, Polychrome, and Toto, too, she's in a race to reach the Emerald City in time for Ozma's royal birthday party.

The Emerald City of Oz #6
When Dorothy, Aunt Em, and Uncle Henry need a new home, Dorothy comes up with the perfect answer -- The Emerald City of Oz. But while Dorothy and her family are being welcomed to Oz, the wicked Nome King is busily plotting to conquer Oz and have his dastardly revenge on Princess Ozma and Dorothy.

The Patchwork Girl of Oz #7
When Unc Nunkie is accidentally turned into a statue, it is up to Ojo the Munchkin boy and Scraps -- the Patchwork Girl of Oz, to find the magical ingredients that will cure Unc Nunkie. Joining Ojo and Scraps on this daring quest are Dorothy, the Scarecrow, Bungle the glass cat, and the Woozy.

Tik-Tok of Oz #8
Meet the first girl to come to Oz from America since Dorothy Gale! Betsy Bobbin of Oklahoma is swept off a ship at sea and into magical adventures when she meets the Shaggy Man, who's seeking a way to free his brother from the wicked Nome King.

The Scarecrow of Oz #9
When a whirlpool pulls Trot and her peg-legged sailor friend, Cap'n Bill, into an underwater cave, they find themselves at the start of a wild adventure that eventually brings them to Oz. Befriended by the propeller-tailed Ork and Button-Bright -- who's lost once again -- they find their way to Oz, only to run afoul of the evil King Krewl and the wicked witch Blinkie.

Rinkitink in Oz #10
When merry King Rinkitink and his surly goat Bilbil take a holiday on the peaceful Isle of Pingaree, their lives are turned upside down when the tiny island is conquered by invading warriors.

The Lost Princess In Oz #11
Ozma has disappeared! And so have most of the magical treasures of Oz -- including the Magic Picture, the Wizard's black bag, and Glinda's Book of Records! With nary a clue to guide them, all of the Emerald City's most beloved citizens volunteer to search for their missing monarch.

The Tin Woodman of Oz #12
What ever happened to the young munchkin maid who was once the love of the Tin Woodman? In this exciting tale, the Tin Woodman and Scarecrow set out to discover her fate.

The Magic of Oz #13
Ozma's kingdom is threatened once again by Ruggedo, the dastardly former Nome King. This time he's teamed up with a young munchkin lad named Kiki Aru who's discovered a secret word which allows him to transform anyone into whatever shape he pleases.

Glinda of Oz #14
Determined to stop the fighting between the Flatheads and the Skeezers, Ozma and Dorothy set out for their homelands in the far north of Oz. No sooner do they escape the warlike leader of the Flatheads then they are imprisoned by the cruel Queen Coo-ee-oh, who has submerged her city beneath the waters of the Lake of the Skeezers.

Little Wizard Stories of Oz
Baum's The Little Wizard Stories of Oz is a collection of six humorous fairy tales which contain some of the funniest incidents chronicled in Oz history!

More Barbra merriment...

2009-08-17T19:29:00.000-05:00

According to the exceptional website barbra-archives.com *

LOVE IS THE ANSWER Publicity Plans

Here's some of the future plans for publicizing Streisand's new album (please note that any of these could change!):

Barbra will make a number of major TV appearances to set up the album, including an appearance on Oprah the week of release.
Barbra will be featured in an extensive profile on CBS Sunday Morning prior to release.
Barbra will be on the cover of Parade magazine the week prior to the album's release.
Barbra's live club show will be broadcast on the internet
*Matt Howe is the creator and administrator of this great site. If you are a Barbra fan, plan to spend hours perusing the site...

What's going on...

2009-08-17T10:03:00.000-05:00

Had a great show with Laura Freeman yesterday up at Skokie Theatre. “The Judy Garland Duets” was well received. We got a “review” on the JGD facebook page from Michael Horvitch. Here is what he said about “yours truly...”

“Rob's tenor was in fine tune. He was equally excellent at whispering as he was belting out his songs. He almost won the "Who channeled Judy!" contest ...Highly recommended!!!”

It rained buckets just before curtain. And then afterwards too. Funny that one of my songs was “Come Rain or Come Shine.”

TODAY I am going on my first audition in a million years. I have been focusing these last years on web/graphic work and singing concert style and in clubs but wanted to “up my anty” a bit and start auditioning for equity shows again. We will see what happens. Today is a general audition for a couple of the local theatres here in Chicago. I promise not to tweet during it.

No BabFab until Spring...

2009-08-10T17:19:00.000-05:00

We cancelled the BabFab show for the fall. It fell on Yom Kipper and we worried that it would seriously impact the attendance of our Skokie performance. Oh well. In a way I am a bit relieved only because I have such a plate full of additional things going on.

On an exciting note (and I am making the official announcement here I guess) I am going to be putting together an audio visual theatrical version of “The Wizard of Oz.” I am going to narrate the story, sing songs and present on a huge screen my illustrations of the story! How's that for an all encompassing Rob Dorn evening? (Actually we will first do the shows Saturday afternoons in December.)
I am going to begin working on the adaptation and the illustrations very soon. I have a LOT to pull from though as I have been drawing versions of this story for more than 40 years! Wow. I feel historic!

Eventually I am going to put together an “OZ 101” presentation that tells the FULL story of the original book it's impact on our culture for more than a hundred years! I always wanted to be an OZthoritarian. (You may have to read that word a couple of times... sorry.)

I will be posting some of the images as I create them on my blog. I like the idea of it being a power point style presentation because it can have (at times) an almost animated effect... kind of in the style of “Reading Rainbow.” See? RAINBOW! It all comes together.

Barbra's new CD...

2009-08-06T17:32:00.000-05:00

Here is the cover of Barbra's newest CD, “Love is the Answer.” What is interesting about this project is that you can listen to it in two formats. The first format is with a big studio orchestra with lots and lots of strings! Or (better, I think) you can listen to it with just piano, bass and drum as apparantly Diane Krall originally intended. Simple. Less is More. The way she WAS in the early 1960's with pianist Peter Daniels and “The Three Flames” at the Bon Soir.
I am really looking forward to hearing this. If you go to Streisand's website she is previewing various random tracks from the CD. Sounds good. You will hear it with the orchestra though. You have to understand that I am a die-hard fan of Streisand UNPLUGGED (as in 1961). She sounds great. Relaxed, classic and perfect.
I am presently preparing for my own Streisand project(s). The first one is a revival of BabFab with the original cast at Skokie Theatre. We will be doing a plethora of Streisandia from her many many gold records. In addition, I am presenting, “From Flatbush to Footlights” which is basically a crash course in Barbra's early early career. Before “People,” before “Funny Girl” and before she took the extra “a” out of her name. Myself with the assistance of vocalists Amy Cole and Laura Freeman will sing all the great songs from this magical time in her budding career. Accompanied by Damian Espinoza. I think it's going to be a great afternoon of music.

Songs will include material she sang at her very first nightclub appearance, early tv appearances, theatrical shows and her very first US tour. (She played Mr. Kelly's on Rush Street in Chicago and then came back later and performed at Arie Crown Theatre as her star was ascending fast, fast...) While at Mr. Kelly's she stayed up all night and was photographed all around the city including on Oak Street Beach at dawn. This image became the cover of her “People” album.

I have always loved this time in her career and of Greenwich Village in the early 60's. Talk about a “hey-day.” If you were to go back in time and spend a weekend seeing various shows you would be amazed at who you would be seeing perform. Everyone from Cass Elliot to Joan Rivers and Bob Dylan. And then of course, around the corner and down the steps into the dark dingy nightclub and there she is singing “Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf...” 18 year old Barbra Streisand.

Time keeps on slipping...

2009-06-20T14:02:00.000-05:00

Every once in while in my computing I will go to my own blog and then I am ashamed at the fact that a month or more has gone by where I haven't written anything. I've written this before but I am very used to writing in a private journal. As much as I enjoy attention I am challenged by the idea of a public journal. So listen all three of you who read this... I am going to attempt to become more public. No, not with a sex video or a drunken stumble outside a trendy nightclub, by just writing about the most boring things... for example, I am sitting here typing in my blog while my cat Parker sits to my left watching my fingers dance across the keyboard. I cleaned the kitchen (or am in the process) and I actually did a bit of caulking today.
So you see?
Hello... wake up...
yeah, you were reading my blog.
It's ok. I'm sorry I woke you.
But it's just after two in the afternoon did you really need a nap?
You didn't intend to nap?
Oh.
Wow.
That was harsh.
Ok.
Well, I promise that this is going to get more exciting.
Perhaps if I actually stray away from my computer and involve myself in some excitement I will have something to type about.

I did have an exciting evening on stage with Laura Freeman last night.
The Judy Garland Duets show went very well.
Once a week we become eight year olds playing in the backyard.
I will write more about the show later.

I am actually bored now.

Talk to you soon.

Paperless...

2009-05-23T14:25:00.000-05:00

I would like to try an experiment.
I would like to go paperless.
This means live my life without paper.
Can I do this?
Or is it more realistic to just start cutting down on paper but then notice all the moments in life when paper is being used or could be used and what the alternative would best be.
Uh oh...
Toilet Paper.
Uh oh...
Cat just threw up and I need to use paper towels...
Uh oh...

I will get back to this.
But first a word from Bounty! The quicker picker upper.

Summerish...

2009-05-16T13:09:00.000-05:00

Today it is summerish. Not summery... but summerish or summeresque. I like it a little cool and sunny.

And that is all I shall write. I'm going out to enjoy it.

Sunday.

2009-05-03T15:30:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in awhile. I am so used to having written in a private journal for so many years that sometimes I don't really know how to write in a journal that I know can be read by others. It's a good exercise though. What do I have to hide anyway?

We are going to go down into Lincoln Park to the Paul Frank store. There are a whole bunch of very cool stores on Armitage Avenue. I like stationary stores too and I know of one near there. Sunday kind of stuff to do.

We are wanting to either clean or upgrade the cushions on our front porch furniture. We left the cushions out all winter and remarkably they are still in one piece. But dirty of-course. I washed one of them as a test in our washer and it came out as one big giant puffball. (The batting inside atleast)... Jason thinks that by drying it it might calm down a bit. The other idea would be to dry clean them. I suppose I could always just wash the surface of the cushions by hand. It's one of those things... replacement cushions the right size are HARD to find.

Barbra singing “Funny Girl”

2009-04-18T13:46:00.000-05:00

As “BabFab 2” approaches, Three Cat Productions annual Barbra Streisand Birthday tribute show, as writer and directer... and host...(see? just like Barbra!) I am happy to share my love of this artist with other people who love her as well. Here is a clip from her upcoming DVD release of her 2006 live concert. She sings, “Funny Girl” from the movie of the same name. I have to say that when I heard her do this live, it truly sounded like we were all crowded onto the soundstage in 1967 hearing her record it for the first time.
She has grown so far past the “character” she played in “Funny Girl” but can go back to that place with ease. Our golden memories of Barbra are hers as well. Ya know what I mean?

NOTE: The above mentioned clip is no longer available. But you can see Barbra's performance on the recent DVD of her 2006 concert.

Excrutiating... Mmm Hmmmm....

2009-04-09T10:57:00.000-05:00

I couldn't even finish watching this it made me so uncomfortable... watch his band mates squirm and look very distressed. Show biz has many an interesting folk... I did like his memories of “Famous Monsters of Filmland” magazine... I TOO was a fan of that and the plastic models he talks about. But everythying about this interview is just PAINFUL... as I said, I couldn't make it to the end... so please tell me how it finishes out.

FOOTNOTE: Ok, I did manage to make it to the end and it seems to have a happy ending. But what an interesting cat he is! Over all, the interviewer handled it very well. They band mates probably just shrug... oh well. This is Billy Bob... chancelor of Cosmic Cowboy music...

JoJo can has Cheezburger...

2009-04-08T22:15:00.000-05:00

The infamous JoJo...

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2009-03-11T18:17:00.000-05:00

Now THIS one is ridiculous... I love that my spectrum includes Ashley Tisdale and Dick Cheney!!!

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2009-03-11T18:15:00.000-05:00

This time it got it right... people have told me that Kevin Spacey and I could have been separated at birth. We don't really look like each other anymore though. But this pic does I guess... and Robert Deniro? I like that! Oh, and Richard Pryor and I are just IDENTICAL COUSINS all the way. Me and Rich... one pair of matching bookends...

inspiration...

2009-02-02T18:42:00.000-06:00

Do not adjust your screen... YES I am writing a new blog entry! Yay!
I was inspired to write because I just took a stroll through the Fine Arts Building. This is where my office/studio is and I just LOVE this building. Aside from new wiring and some of the light fixtures in this building and the modernized bathrooms and stuff like that, it is pretty much the same as it must have been back in the early part of the 20th century. I marvel at some of the people who have had studios here in the past. For some reason on the 10th floor right in a row are three of the famous inhabitants that worked here. Number one is W.W. Denslow who was the illustrator for The Wizard of Oz. He has been and is one of my inspirations and “heroes” if you will. I discovered him when I was a child and found the original “Oz” books at the library. Ah, the smell of those old books and the delightful illustrations this man provided for the very first book. He only illustrated the first book and then the other Oz books were illustrated by John R. Neil. But Denslow... especially the way he drew the Cowardly Lion has always been a favorite of mine. The photo on the right is a picture of him IN his studio on the 10th floor. And the sea horse icon is his signature. If you see that on an old cartoon/illustration, then you know who drew it. The W.W. stands for William Wallace.

Another “biggie” back in the olden days had his office on the tenth floor right next to Denslows although they didn't work there at the same time. It was this little known architect named Frank Lloyd Wright... have you ever heard of him? He contributed many things to this building including the design of the windows in MY office and some of the other windows and elements throughout the building.

THIRDLY... this is something I just learned today. On the OTHER side of Denslows office was another cartoon/illustrator, John T. McCutcheon. He is famous for the illustrations you see below, contributed to the Chicago Tribune for more than 40 years and won the Pulitzer Prize. I remember this illustration from either seeing it in a book, library, or reprinted... it was originally published in 1907. This STYLE of drawing and the way it was colorized for the newspaper... I have always loved this kind of thing. And also, the fact that it's autumn... you can almost smell the smoke in the cold air when you look at this. That is what I love about some illustrations, they can evoke SO much sense memory and emotion.

What a great time it was in the early 1900's and little did these artists know what an impact they would have on me... another illustrator who has the privilege of working in this great building.

It's been a long long time...

2009-01-26T12:04:00.000-06:00

I don't regularly blog because I have so much going on that it's hard for me to narrow down ONE thing to talk about or write about. It's hard to be the stenographer for all the stuff going on in my head. But writing can be a zen like experience. I have done the morning pages routine in which you write three pages full of mind dump. It's theraputic. It seems like it will take forever to do. You have to just write from your train of thought. It is definitely something you KEEP to yourself. But it empties out a lot of the noise up there.
I have a lot of noise. I hide behind the noise. The noise can sometimes get in my way and I let it. Even now as I am typing this there is an inner critic sitting there laughing and saying, “what are you doing? Do you really think anyone cares to read this crap?” and I have to nod and say, “thank you... but shut up ok?”
PROJECTS - O - RAMA!
I have one zillion projects going on. That is the official count. Well, it FEELS like one zillion only because it's a gigantic wall of projects all glued and stuck together like some third grade art project hanging in the hallway. Looking at it en masse it looks like a gigantic mess making absolutely no sense at all. So because I wear the glasses that perceive this, it remains just that.

Fun with my face...

2009-01-06T16:35:00.000-06:00

Self portrait using Photo Booth with my Mac.

I'd like to name this “person” Bruno.

It's been too long...

2008-12-22T14:40:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't written in this blog for twenty seven years.
I have been very busy. I directed a holiday show, starred in my OWN holiday show, did a house concert out in the burbs and performed at the Chicago Cultural Center. Meanwhile hardly a present has been bought.
I am awaiting the arrival of my “planner pad.” I know. Planners. My sickness. But it is so frustrating waiting for this thing to arrive... I feel like I am five years old running down to the mailbox and then slumping away shoulders sagging, head hanging, letting out a big sigh. “All I got was a rock...” But I will get it soon. And I am determined... here's the thing... I am DETERMINED to actually USE it for an entire year.
Nobody thinks I can. You see, I will start with a system... that's what we planner geeks call our calendar book things... a system... and then about a month... a week... sometimes a DAY into it, I don't like it anymore and I set up a new system. Meanwhile all the things I am “Planning” on doing are on hold. It's such a ridiculous catch 22. To have ADD and use a planner is something I have been struggling with for years. It's a sick twisted mess and a waste of calendars... I am determined to use the planner pad... the choice for calendar 09... for ONE WHOLE YEAR.
Do you think I can do it?
If you said yes, I say thank you. But even I know that it is going to be a challenge.
Oh, and if you WANT a planner, I can make one for you with all the planner back-wash I have.
Just let me know.
For awhile I thought I would do this as a side job... put together planners for people. Kind of like a planner broker or as I like to call myself, “The Planner Whisperer.”

Hey... atleast I'm not addicted to heroine.

Parker...

2008-10-24T14:40:00.000-05:00

My drawings...

2008-10-23T17:00:00.000-05:00

I have begun a new blog (in tandem with this one) that will showcase a daily drawing. Either something from my vast archive (seriously) or something I did that day (usually on the train!)
So go lookie look... here

in dreams...

2008-10-21T22:24:00.000-05:00

I have the coolest dreams.
So real, I go about the next day feeling like it wasn't a dream but something that actually happened. (I know... Dorothy...) but the one I had last night was very interesting. I was time traveling. I was back in the early seventies. So I was wandering around and seeing how different everything was. I was in Chicago looking at buildings that used to be there and how things were “back then.” One of the funniest moments in the dream was when I was at a bar with the group I was hanging with (my Mom included). Someone was having drink after drink and as they went up for another round, I warned them that they might be over-spending. I said, “Careful... those drinks are 75 cents!” (Knowing full well that in future years they would be marked up enormously.
I wonder how much drinks WERE in the early seventies?

At other points in the dream, I turned on tv to watch an old kids tv show that I had forgotten about. I sang the theme song along with it. (Ofcourse I did!)
I opened up a fridge and saw a slice of cake my mom had made (from the early 70's but fresh and new!) So I ate it. It was amazing.

And well, that is about all I have to say about that.
And guess what? Yay! I get to go to bed again!!!!

Andrea McArdle interview

2008-10-14T14:17:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I am a fan of the show “Annie” and of Andrea McArdle. I have loved her ever since I saw her on “The Annie Christmas Special” way back in December of 1977. Although I never saw her perform the role onstage, I DID see her portray Belle in “Beauty and the Beast” at the iconic Palace Theatre on Broadway.
Any hoo or rather, “annie-hoo” (yuck yuck) here is a very delightful interview of Ms. Mcardle while she is in New Hampshire performing the role of Fantine in Les Miserables. (Note: with her now twenty year old daughter playing Eponine... which she points out.) My favorite part is her impression of Carol Channing.

Stepford Sam...

2008-10-09T17:37:00.000-05:00

This freaked me out. I was browsing through the tribune online and saw a picture off to the side and thought, “what the hell is Sam's picture doing in the news?” Well, it was (of course) another cat, but I was startled (yes, startled) by the similarity... it's Sam's long lost twin brother! Or perhaps, a “Stepford” version of Sam. Same looks but a really banal and creepy personality? Doesn't really care to wake me up in the morning. Obeys everything we say...
I like the real “smoolie” better. (That's Sam's nickname... don't ask.)

Need a good laugh?

2008-10-08T08:26:00.000-05:00

Kristen Wiig is one of the funniest comedians to come along on SNL. She is a mix of Carol Burnett with a bit Lily Tomlin thrown in. Right up my alley. Watch her as the fourth and most interesting sister in this musical act...

Saturday Morning mind dump

2008-09-20T11:11:00.000-05:00

I am sad that [Title of Show] is closing on Broadway. Have you heard about this show? Have you listened to the hysterical cast album? I am hoping it will continue on... and I am channeling that the original cast might take it around to various cities... are you guys listening?

We have new upstairs neighbors and today they are moving their furniture up the back porch stairs. Clomp, clomp, clomp. Nice people. They have a dog. A huskie. These are just random facts and the various miniscule things I know about them. Let's see what else... well, I met them because their toilet overflowed and was dripping into OUR bathroom. Nice way to meet your new neighbors. I thought it was funny that they were so profusely apologizing. I mean, it's not THEIR fault. What were they thinking I would do when I opened the door to their knockity knock... I would open the door in a ratty robe and curlers (scotch taped to my head) and say, “Who the hell do you think you ARE?!!! Overflowing your toilet... what is WRONG with you?!!!! I know you did it on purpouse. You Toilet overflowers you!!!!!”

No. I shrugged it off. I mean it kind of freaked me out at first because the water that was dripping was not CLEAR water. So, that disturbed me. But when you live in a world of kitty litter, you start to become immune to... wait, that's kitty litter I am talking about, the tidy little litter that you put in a bag... (sounds like a catchy slogan, huh?) No, this is HUMAN!!!!!!!! Arrrrgghhhhhh!!!!!

But it was only the color that it was because of seeping through the floor boards. Seriously. But it still freaked me out. Hepititis nightmares danced in my head as I mopped it up and tried not to get any of it on me. And ofcourse as I am cleaning it up, it drips ON my head. Unclean... unclean!!!!

How we take for granted our sewer systems.

Ok. So I will continue on a sewer rant.
Up at my sisters, they have a natural well that to me, is about as UN-natural as it can be. Mainly because their water smells like rotten eggs. THEY are used to it. ME who comes from the city of purified to within an inch of it's life H2O from the faucet (yet we still drink Brita)... to me, it just absolutely REEKED... is that how you spell that? It stank. In the shower you are aromatherapied with this overwhelming sulfer smell. And yes, I quoted Glinda while in the bathroom, “what a smell of sulfur!!!” (for my own entertainment).

My sister asked me, “You can smell it? We can't smell it anymore.”
Well, yes, you can smell it. “Aren't you concerned what this may be doing to you over time?” I the paranoid city folk asked. “No.” Sis shrugged going back to her Soduko puzzle.

When I was a kid we used to be able to ignite our water. Another incident of natural well, with natural gas coming from the well and indeed, you would run the faucet and then light a match by the water coming out of the faucet and like a pilot light on a stove, it would light up, ignite... fire surrounding the stream of water. Isn't that weird? It was one of our house tricks, to amuse company when they came over. That and our singing window panes, but that's another story.

Ok. Mind clear. Off I go to seize the day.

Planet of the Apes...

2008-09-06T09:39:00.000-05:00

Creationism has been something I have been irritated with of late.
I read that in 2005 53% of people polled believed that we came from “Adam and Eve.”
And according to “creationism” it all began only 400 years BC.
And don't even get me started on Intelligent Design.
Adam and Eve and gardens and talking snakes... snow white and dopey and singing and dancing mice and puppets that become real live boys and and and...

HOW can people actually believe this?

A higher power? Yes. I believe in a higher power. I don't know what it actually is. I can feel it at times. A bearded caucasian man? Only if that is what you want to see him as. We all can have our own vision and I like it that way. This higher power GAVE us an imagination to allow us to deal with things that we don't actually know about, but FEEL and in order to put it into a framework we can understand, we attach an image to it. I mean scan the globe and see all the many versions of this higher power in the form of Buddha and that really cool Hindu multi armed elephant. Now THAT is imagination being put to good use.

Going back to Adam and Eve... I want to say to people, “so, let me get this straight... we are unable to access all sorts of information from zillions of years ago, so much of it all a huge mystery... YET we just so happen to know the names of the first two people on earth.

Oh and Noah... let's wrap our intelligence around THAT one. There are lots of Flood stories and interestingly, they spread across many cultures. Even native Americans had THEIR own story passed down through the ages. Whether or not there WAS a guy named Noah and that he actually managed to get ALL the animals (two by two) onto this state of the art vessel is where the storytime aspect takes hold.

I mean, think about it. Stories are told with a lot of imagery. Before TV you listened to the radio and had no choice but to envision what was being told to you. YOU had that creative license. Back in ancient times, stories told around campfires (or whatever) would get rather dull unless the storyteller added extra stuff to the story to beef it up. You know, the whole, “Hey! Listen to ME tell the story... mine has talking snakes!” As soon as these stories at whatever level they had reached via word of mouth became WRITTEN... that is when they sort of “died ” in a way. Now they had a permanance in whatever form they were in when written. The written word is very powerful. When people see something written there is this universal first notion that it is true. If it is written it is true. But that is not the case.

Not everything you read is true.
In a way, it is almost like tabloids... write whatever will sell the paper.
Write whatever will sell the book. Write whatever will get people to pay attention and scare them so you can control them.

Let ME decide how I see it. And let's not take it so literally.
The minute something has happened, your memory of it will distort. Depending, a few years will go by and the event that you remember will morph into something beyond whatever it originally was. But it is possible to remember the feeling you had and the more you think of it, the more fond you become of it and those heartfelt feelings can play wonderous tricks on your mind and memory. We turn many of our past experiences into their own little fairy tales.

Once upon a time... in the beginning... two households both alike in dignity... it was the best of times, it was the worst of times... Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies...

THE END?

Liza with a Zeal!

2008-08-31T09:35:00.000-05:00

We went to see Liza Minnelli not knowing what to expect. In the last year I read news reports of her collapsing onstage, I saw some youtube video footage of her not doing well. It made you think she was again in the shadow of her mother, fighting against demons, losing the battle.

BUT... last night in Hammond, Indiana at the Horseshoe(?) Casino (where they STILL smoke inside - yuck!) Minnelli was in absolute TOP form. I was thrilled. To hear that familiar clarinet begin playing the opening of “Maybe This Time” which she just sang as good as if they were going for a second take in the filming of the movie. I liked it that when she sang (referring to romantic interests) that she was hoping her new man would be, “not a loser anymore, like the last time and the time before..” She rolled her eyes while singing this line. Very funny. Good to see that she has a great sense of humor about herself. At the end of the song (and only the fourth or fifth song in the show) the audience was on it's feet, cheering.

She paid tribute to her godmother, entertainer, vocal arranger Kay Thompson (who worked at MGM in the 40's and wrote the Eloise books - based on Liza's childhood incidently)... she had four guys with her and they did this wonderful tight harmony and tight choreography ala nightclub shows from the 40's and 50's. TOTALLY up my alley. Loved it. Revelled in the fact that with Liza holding the ropes, you were truly seeing the real deal. The last in a line of Hollywood royalty. Stare hard, soak it in. Her voice, yes, it was challenged, notes were shaky, but it was this energy she had in her that just burst out of her. And as the show progressed, it got EVEN better. By the time the encore came and there she was “start spreadin' the news...” she was claiming her corner of the universe, with one of her trademark songs. (We had already been treated to “Cabaret” which again, was great). And there she was, belting out “New York, New York” and going for the key change and the place went wild. Hey! Screw oil, THERE'S our new energy source! Whatever it is she manages to pull up from out of nowhere could very well fuel jet planes and send them around the world a few times non-stop.

There may have been times in these last years, one would think it was time for her to throw in the towel, but with this new show, the Kay Thompson material, she saddled up the horse and climbed back up on top. WE WERE JUST THRILLED. And I am speaking for myself, Jason and the audience around us. Afterwards, there was a buzz in the air and also, maybe it was just me, but a kind of shock that she pulled off what she had just pulled off. This is a good reason to truly not buy into anything you read about. If you wanna know how she's doing, go to the source itself.

Jason said that at the end of the show, an older woman was crying saying that it was like seeing her mother onstage again. It was. It wasn't just that though, it was seeing the heritage. Always being compared to her immortal mother, you can see WHY when you see her in person. There IS an uncanny resemblance... or is it just that her Mom was WITH her. I'd like to think that just as Liza as a child watched her mother from the wings, that NOW her mother is returning the favor and then helplessly, caught up in the excitement, joins her.

When you see Liza on stage, you realize that this is her family trade. A long line of performers... her Mom, her Dad, her aunts (the Gumm sisters) and her grandparents who were vaudevillians.
Not to mention her godparents (Thompson and this composer guy... ever hear of IRA GERSHWYN?! And all of her parents comrades and friends... you know, Uncle Frank, Uncle Sammy, all the great greats.

And so with her, you saw it all... vaudeville, film, stage, broadway, nightclubs all accumulated now into this sixty two year old woman, thinned down, scissor legged again, eyes dazzling again... Liza with a ZEAL! Yay!!! Fireworks, fourth of July, America... it was HER Olympic category... and she was winning more medals as we rooted for her all the way.

Thank God.

So needless to say, I had a VERY good time.
:- )

Happy Birthday Karen!

2008-08-28T12:06:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to my big sister Karen. Karen is a writer and I keep pestering to do her website. Hopefully soon this will become a reality because she really is good. I remember as a kid, a little sneaky bratty little brother, I LOVED to snoop around her desk. She had this cool corner desk (one of those kind of colonial modular kid bedroom set ups.) And I loved the SMELL. What was it? A mixture of all the projects she worked on, painting little plaster statues, hodge podging pictures onto wooden planks (with the pictures edges burned ofcourse)... and her drawings and notebooks and sketchbooks.
I also loved her handwriting so much that I kind of stole it or adapted it to my own handwriting. Hers is still better.
So happy birthday, here is a whole new year for you to continue pursuing your book writing dreams... and make them a reality. She already has articles written for magazines and such. I will squeeze info out of her and get links posted so all the world can read her work. THAT and a website are MY goals to accomplish for her in this next coming year.

The Island of Has Been Stars...

2008-08-21T15:58:00.000-05:00

Daytime and late night TV.
The home of Rerun television and cheezy commercials.
How I love the cheezy commercial.
How I love to spell cheezy just the way I did.

The new “Sally Struthers” has made her mark. Maureen McCormick implores us to save the children, with a very strained and hardened face.

Wow.
Marcia.
Again, wow.

And then for some commercial for a cash lending company there's Mr. Gary Coleman who actually NOW is throwing in the towel and using his catch phrase. He says it though with absolutely no emotion. Poor old zombie Arnold. Mrs. Garrett looks away hoping to not turn into a pillar of salt. He might as well be wearing a shirt that says, “sold out.” But for him that is a good thing. It's good that he scrapes the bottom of the barrel for the ONE thing left he has to spray in our faces like pop culture mace. (sp)

But seeing him do it... it's sad. Perhaps the overall conscensus was that the fact that he WASN'T saying it anymore meant that he had some kind of pride or something or other going on.

Hmmm... Gary Coleman... pride.
Ponder that one for a minute.

Back to Marcia.
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.
She looks mad.
She's just so damn mad that she is resorting to this level of showbusiness.
You can ONLY get to this level by having gone up the ladder. But most times these folks aren't looking down when they descend the ladder and then they realize the ladder leads them back down to such television spots.

Oh well.
Good for them. They're working...
But I must say it gives me a start to see them.
They seriously burst onto the tv.
When Mr. Coleman did, I actually yelped.
And when I saw Marcia, I said, “Oh My Nose!”

Sam's trick...

2008-08-17T06:02:00.000-05:00

I don't know how he does it, but when I need to wake up at a certain time, all I have to do is ASK my cat Sam to wake me up at a specific time and believe it or not, he does it. For example, I have to take Jason to the airport this morning and needed to get up 5:15 am. Last night before going to bed, I leaned down to Sam cuddling next to me, petted his head and said, “Sam, I need you to wake me up at 5:15 tomorrow.”
Sure enough, about 5:10, he is crawling up onto my chest and meowing in my face.
And truly, he usually will not do this until about 7am.

AMAZING!!!!
I will try it again and let you know what happens.

Go away Lady...

2008-08-11T20:02:00.000-05:00

Watching the Olympics. Synchronized Diving is VERY cool. But WHO is this woman commentator? She is SO obnoxious! Jason and I were yelling at her. She couldn't hear us though. But I am wondering, is there an Olympic event called, “GO AWAY LADY!!!”

Fasting? I prefer Frosting.

2008-08-04T08:42:00.000-05:00

After a week of eating up at Dairyman's in Wisconsin, I felt I wanted to rejuvinate.
I decided to go on a fast.

Not for religious purposes, but for health reasons, just wanting to take this 40-something old body of mine and give it a tune up. I did some research and from several legit resources found that the “Master Cleanse” would be a good way to go... so to speak.

I researched online, went to the health food store and bought a pamphlet about it. Basically, for ten days I was to live off of a concoction of organic lemone juice, grade B maple syrup and filtered water... with a pinch of cayenne pepper tossed in. I was to just drink this about six or seven or however many times I felt like it a day. Basically whenever I was hungry. I read that this combo actually gave me all the nescessary nutrients while throughly cleansing my innards. Yay!

I really thought I could do it. This is what stopped me...

Every morning I was to give my body a salt water bath... internally... by drinking 32 ounces of lukewarm water with two level teaspoons of sea salt or course salt.

I sipped. Yep, salty alright... kind of like drinking sweat... or worse.
I gulped hoping to get it over with asap.
This is pretty much absolutely GROSS!
The 32 oz never seemed to end.
Blechhh!!!!
I began to think to myself:

Yuck!
Only two teaspoons? This sh*t is potent.
This might as well be pee. I am drinking pee.
Ten days.
Some people do it for 40 days.
People are stupid.
My innards aren't all that junked up.
Cheetos COULD be a food group.
Stanley Burroughs (creator of the Master Cleanse) is crazy.
At first I thought of Edgar Rice Burroughs AKA author of Tarzan.
Tarzan's hot.
Tarzan would NEVER drink salt water.
Me Rob.
Me drinking icky.

So there I was bloated from salt water, feeling like a beached Sea Lion.
And thus decided to NOT do a ten day fast.

I did learn some good things from this though.
It isn't nescessarily a bad idea to have a tonic of lemon juice sweetened with maple syrup (two teaspoons of THAT and not SALT).
Honey is actually not as good for you as you would think. (Something I read in the pamphlet. Hey, I paid $6.99 for it, I'm gonna believe it.)

Ideally, I would like to do a cleanse... I like the idea of it. I DO think it could be beneficial. But I am going to wait. Do some more research.
Anyone got any bright ideas?
I went to DQ yesterday.

up north...

2008-07-28T08:16:00.000-05:00

I am presently up in Boulder Junction, Wisconsin.

Jason and I are staying at a private resort with pretty much my entire family (all in separate cabins). It is the complete opposite of our normal lives in Chicago and so that makes for the perfect vacation. The only thing that ties us to our normal lives is that each rustic cabin is equipped with DSL!!!!! And the cabins aren't that rustic. In fact, we have one of the nicest ones!
We have relaxed, napped, taken the little outboard motor boat out for a spin, Jason kayaked, we went into the “big town” of Minacqua and went to Paul Bunyans logging house cook shanty on a stick or whatever it was called. Before the two of us where spread each and every kind of animal to eat... pig, chicken, cow... just the usual ones, nothing exotic. And dang if they weren't REAL good.

Not much else to do. Napping is the best part of all.

PLEASE...

2008-07-20T12:18:00.000-05:00

... go and see “Wall-E” at a movie theatre or if possible iMax.
We saw it last night (not at iMax but a regular theatre) and it was truly a first time movie experience. I have never ever seen anything like this movie. It's absolutely fantastic and fun. You will instantly be seven years old again at your local hometown movie theatre... gazing in awe at the screen as the magic unfolds before you.
My thought leaving the show was, “I can't wait to see what film technology will show us next...”

Harold Arlen...

2008-07-14T09:18:00.000-05:00

Earlier in the year, Beckie Menzie asked me to take part in a Composers show that CCP was producing at the downtown Drury Lane Watertower Theatre. Happily, I was asked to represent Harold Arlen. I will be singing one of my favorite songs he wrote, “I love to Sing-a”. I have been “sing-a' ing” this song for years and years. I originally heard it as part of a Warner Brothers cartoon of the same name featuring a character named, Owl Jolson. In the 80's working with Eric Lane Barnes, I developed the arrangement that I still do to this day. Beckie Menzie's accompaniment sends it into orbit.
In addition to that song, I am paying tribute to the reason I discovered Arlen (and the rest of his music...) MGM's “The Wizard of Oz.” A little known movie... have you heard of it perhaps? I recount my approaching sixth birthday and my request to own a copy of the original soundtrack (just like Miriam Lamp had...). My Mom made two or three attempts. First with some very strange versions of the story... Dorothy with a brooklyn accent, stupid baby songs that were definitely NOT Arlen. Thankfully on July 24th, 1967 the REAL version was in my hands.

The show is tonight and tomorrow. Hope to see you there!

I know, I know...

2008-07-12T09:38:00.000-05:00

I have to be more “self absorbed” as an anonymous comment suggested.
So with that in mind, what if I actually TRY to write in this everyday?! Even if it's just a sentence or a declaration of what the weather is.
Here is what the weather is:
The weather is what happens outside of your house when you look outside either through the door or window or hole in the roof if there is one in which perhaps, the weather is quite severe.
The ACT of looking out doesn't create the weather, the weather is something that just happens.

Here are some guaranteed ways to actually CONTROL the weather...

If it is raining, buy an umbrella at the nearest store. The rain will stop almost immediately (especially if you spend more than twenty dollars on the umbrella).
If you want it to be cold, do not on any circumstance where a jacket or sweater. In fact, where a tank top and short shorts and as the day progresses, it will get very chilly.
This also works for warmth as well. So bundle up and it will be nice and warm for the day.

There was a pretty decent thunderstorm last night. I love thunderstorms. I especially love them when I am inside the house. I love how the whole building can shake sometimes depending on the intensity of the thunder clap. Perhaps it's the fact that it is a thunder CLAP because as an entertainer, I ofcourse enjoy applause. (Unless it's the applause one hears after being boo'd off the stage and as you exit, they applaud.)

So I hope anonymous is happy.
I hope this isn't just a bunch of drivel.
I hope that there actually IS a word called drivel and that I used it properly.
But then again, I don't give a crap, it's my blog I can make up words if I want.

Have a ding dong dilly of a Saturday!!!!
Tomorrow is Jason's birthday. Although this weekend (beginning last night) was declared, “Jason's birthday weekend!”

I seem to be enjoying the word “declared” today.

People am stupid

2008-07-04T12:27:00.000-05:00

Why are there CNN news reports about Susan Olson (aka Cindy Brady) throwing up during an early morning radio broadcast because she was hung over.

Why do we have to hear how shocked the DJ was because it was CINDY BRADY throwing up.

Um... Cindy Brady is SO very NOT real.
The Brady Bunch is a fantasy.

Why does the shock jock DJ act like he is so shocked about it?
I can't believe that adorable, lisping, wholesome Cindy Brady DRANK wine. She drank. She was drunk! Oh no.

And then of course the radio broadcast is probably sponsored by some brand of beer or vodka...

But shame, shame on Cindy Brady.
Shame on the actress Susan Olson for being a real live human being.
You are not supposed to be human. You are supposed to be the human that we want you to be even though we think that that human is stupid anyway and we make fun of her lisping but really when we make fun of “thindy brady” lisping, we are making fun of the real live Susan Olson who never really lisped that badly anyway but now she is known for being the youngest one in curls who lisps.

Oh and it looks like she has had a face lift...

Sam's favorite TV show...

2008-06-23T09:41:00.000-05:00

I was folding laundry the other day and had the tv on in our bedroom. Sam, our adorable cat was sitting there on the bed keeping me company. It was early sunday afternoon and not much was on TV although I did notice that the retro show, “Davey and Goliath” was on. I hadn't seen that show in years and so I switched it on. I remember liking this show when I was a kid. I liked his sister Sally's hair. She was mildly retarded as I remember... anyway, I am focusing on folding t-shirts and glance up and SAM is sitting there watching the show, just as content as can be. And he is actually watching it. And not just staring at the moving images, but looking at the specific “puppet” when it talks... he really seemed to be following along with the story.
Cracked me up.

P is for PATTI!

2008-06-20T17:50:00.000-05:00

WOW. I was so overwhelmed by her performance on the Tony's that as I sat there curled up in my chair, I wept. I actually cried when she got towards the end. And afterwards... Ah, the wonderous ovation. This... performing... singing and belting and just putting it out there is MY sport. It's my football or basketball... only you never hear one of those horn blasting things unless it's coming from Lupones pipes. And the cheers... well, she just scored a touchdown.
Just absolutely Pattilutely WONDERFUL.
And she won a Tony too.
Tony too?
Tony too!!!!

waiting.

2008-05-17T12:17:00.000-05:00

dolls, dolls, dolls...

2008-05-15T20:20:00.000-05:00

I have decided that instead of writing in my blog, I shall express myself visually.
And with that in mind...

BITCH 101

2008-05-08T10:48:00.000-05:00

“It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book. It speaks to her true character,” (Star) Jones told Us Weekly magazine.

Ah, the sweet backwash of celebrity.
I think that this comment from Star Jones is hysterical and speaks of HER true character. And WHAT a character.

American I-DULL

2008-05-07T08:59:00.000-05:00

So this year, I have not been watching IDOL. I tuned in last night to see the four remaining singers. Aside from Lil' David and the guy without the dreads (news report to caucasians... enough with the dread locks... ya look stupid and yes I am being 100% judgemental)... the guy sans dreads... they SUCK. So I guess I am saying, two are good and two stink.

The dread head dude... just AWFUL! Get ye to a Karaoke bar and swiftly!

The girl... Cardboard cutout of a zillion other girl singers. Ho if it's HUM.

The guy who isn't David Archuletta is good. Interesting voice. Good stage presence. But doesn't really do it for me. The Archuletta kid has a golden voice, is adorable and it sounds like he is losing his voice. Just give him the prize so he can go and rest.

Interesting when you are not invested in the show. It all seems rather stupid.
And the audience of teeny bopper girls screaming their heads off. It is SO stupid. They are just acting like they think they are supposed to act because they saw some black and white archive footage of a beatles concert. I feel like this show is now taking the art of performing and making a mockery of it.

Oh, and Paula is retarded.

THANK GOD!

2008-05-03T20:37:00.000-05:00

My german heritage has redeemed itself in a documentary called, “Helvetica.” It's about the history of the typeface, “Helvetica” which has German roots. But then I am reminded again, watching Oprah's interview of Tom Cruise. She marvels at the grand length of his 25 year career in film. And I jump up and shout, “that's how long that poor girl was in the basement!”

I am disturbed.
And seriously not making light of it.
The basement not my disturbance.

I am suddenly very self conscious.
Am I editing myself or suddenly feeling a moral journalistic responsibility?

bloggled...

2008-05-03T09:35:00.000-05:00

I don't really know what to write... er... type.
I used to be an avid journal writer. I have the books and books to prove it. I loved clutching my big storybook journal and head off to Coffee Chicago. This was back in the day when I seemed to be the only person doing this. “What? You go to a place and have coffee? And that's it? ALL BY YOURSELF?!!!”
So now that I have this blog, I want to just dump all of my thoughts, etc. but the catch is, now people can READ them! (insert thunderclap and a distant scream). There are alot of things that inspire me to write and so now, here, this quiet Saturday morning, I will just randomize.

The first thing that has been on my mind of late is this Austrian Josef Fritzel jerk-wad. I will be walking down the street and just shudder thinking about it. Last night at an open mic, someone was singing “Danny Boy” and when he got to the part in the song where he talks about lying under-ground or however the lyric goes, I just had one of those freak-out body shake things. Eek! Yuck. The thought of being in a basement where apparantly you couldn't even really stand up straight just wigs me out. A day in a place like that. Yuck. So let's toss in another 24 years! 24 YEARS! He put this poor woman down there a year before I graduated from College. She helped him bring a door down to the basement not knowing that this was the last time in a long long long while she would be descending a staircase, leaving the light of day. Absolutely horrific. And then the continuing circumstances and the fact that these children grew up NEVER seeing the light of day. The hardly only possibly lucky one is the five year old who just might possibly lead a somewhat normal life.

Apparantly at the psychiatric ward where they are currently, they are each in their own rooms, adjusting to the ability to have their own private space, being able to HAVE space around them, but just as a pre-caution, they have a storage container for them to crawl into if they need to. I mean, THAT is what they are used to. Could it possibly be the opposite effect that instead of being claustraphobic in a small space, they actually are very uncomfortable in a large open space. These children knew of nothing but a dimly lit basement apartment their entire lives. The poor daughter of the daughter is in critical condition. Her illness saved their lives though. I hope she recovers. But how could anyone recover from something like this 100%?

The children are very pale (obviously) having NEVER been exposed to natural light. Their immune systems are challenged for never being exposed in a social way to germs and communicable disease.

It just has to be one of the most horrible things I have ever heard.
And it's amazing that they survived.
And amazing that he got away with it. I mean, he expanded and built more rooms during the 24 years. He had to bring supplies down there. He had to have the door open for a spell to get all the stuff in there. And not a soul found out. I imagine he had the daughter and the children locked in a room or tied up and gagged or something. And they DID knock on the pipes and ceiling and walls. Tenants in the building (tenants of this monster) noticed the sounds but he told them it was the heating making the sound.

This guy's punishment should be that HE now has to live down in that hole for the rest of his life. Drop in every five years with a five year supply of clif bars or something. And then wave bye bye and lock the door on HIM.

Also on a side note, this just is not a good day to be austrian. (which I AM partly). And I used to like being austrian because of “the sound of music” but now he and that other dude, ya know, the Hitler jerk... just make us austrians look really bad. Really bad cartoon control freaks.

My natural way of dealing with things that make me uncomfortable is to hide behind humor. But THIS just leaves me numb and baffled. I pray those people can evolve into capable and rightly deserving citizens of the earth ABOVE ground and flourish and become happy people with nothing but a properous future ahead of them.

Anyone feel the earthquake?

2008-04-18T23:50:00.000-05:00

It happened around 4:30 or 4:40 in the morning.
People were going on like it really was a major earthquake. Describing the whole rolling floor feeling and everything!
I didn't feel a thing. I didn't wake up. Nothing.
I did however experience an earthquake in california. I was at my parents home in Palm Desert. I was sleeping in a room with a very loud air conditioner and in the middle of the night after I had just dozed off, I started to wake up thinking that the air conditioner was going crazy. It was suddenly so loud and it was making the room shake but no, it wasn't that. I bolted out of bed just as it stopped. But ran in to find my sister completely freaked out. (We were watching the house while my parents had gone on a trip.
She had an entirely different experience. She heard every glass in the house rattle. The closet doors were swinging open and close as were the doors. I missed it all.
The next morning as we sat out on the patio having breakfast, suddenly, the earth burped. It felt like it burped. There was this very unsettling rolling feeling underneath us. Just a quick “bloop!” Although it didn't actually go “bloop,” it's just a word that best described the feeling. You know, a “bloop.”

So again, anyone feel this morning's bloop?

OUCH!!

2008-04-07T22:56:00.000-05:00

Cleaning the house is dangerous.
I think I am just going to stop cleaning altogether.
I was using the upright vacuum. I had the hose attach and stretched just a bit too far and the vacuum came down on my big toe. I mean, it came down smack and hard as a hammer. Hollered. It hurt but then you just breathe through it and the “stubbed” toe pain goes away... but not apparantly when a vacuum cleaner is involved.
I am on day two now of major toe pain. “Toe Pain Poisening” your might say.
A very lovely shade of green gleams from behind my toe nail (that I pray does not fall off... that would be just a tad too much like the Jeff Goldbloom remake of “The Fly” for me.

So there I sat upon the couch. It was throbbing. How could NOT moving it at all make it hurt? What was going on in there? All of a sudden just this horrific throbbing pain like someone was twisting my toe off with a plyers. Yeah... not fun.

Jason helped me.
This is what he did.
He gave me a bucket of ice water to soak my toe in.
That I must say is not pleasant.
I have never been one of those polar bear jumping in the lake in january types and could barely barely lower my toe and then foot into a bucket of ice water, with ice floating about and the theme from “Titanic” whispering in my ear. “This is how cold the water was when the people went into the sea.” Yes, these are the things I think about even when in pain.
After a spell, it actually felt good.
THEN it was time to put my foot into a warm bucket of epson salted water.
AH, that sounded nice.
But we didn't have epson salt so Jason put one of those bubble bath bombs into a bucket of what HE felt was warm and I felt was scalding hot.
The water turned greener than my foot and afterwards as I was drying my foot off, I noticed that it was bedazzled with a very teeny tiny glitter. I now had a very sore DISCO foot.

So today, it felt better. But by end of day, I was hobbling home. Ouch. Could barely walk. I felt old. This is “old person” practice. You have to have a lot of patience. A car actually honked at another car to go even though that car was waiting for poor me to cross the street. People are such assholes... and even to US invalids.

So now I sit on the couch. Just having to let it take it's course.
I can bend it so it's not broken. It's more than likely fractured.

I have a fractured Toe.
I want ice cream.
And to EAT not to put on my toe.

sorry...

2008-03-25T07:53:00.000-05:00

to the three people who are my audience, but I have been so busy... I did find time to toss in that last post... I'd blog about work but that would be boring... or maybe not. I used to write in my journal several times a day, but then that was something that nobody was going to read... so I didn't have to edit myself. But ya know, as a personal growth exercise, I should attempt to be just as open and honest in this blog as I was in my journal... so, with that in mind I am not afraid to tell you that I am at this moment seated on the throne with Parker sleeping in my pants that are pulled down around my feet.

Too much info?

Sorry.

You say Easter and I say...

2008-03-23T09:06:00.000-05:00

I am a spiritual person. I do indeed believe in a higher power. And in my mind it's a very nice lady. Sorry but that is how I envision it. Actually, no. It's neither lady or man. It's just this amazing powerful energy that we all come from. We are little portals... little vestibules of that energy. Oh wait... I just looked up vestibule and it basically means “toilet...” so no, we are not little toilets (well, maybe SOME of us are) but we are little groovy jetson flying pods of amazing energy. No, I have not smoked anything this morning.

ANYWAY... I guess, I am trying to layout my religious beliefs and it makes me feel put on the spot, like I have to paint the picture and set it in stone. Actually, I like to allow it to shift and morph into whatever it WANTS to be. I don't have it painted into any corners of any kind.

So with that in mind, I have to say that I have always thought Easter was weird.

As a kid there were two parts to Easter. First of all was the whole Jesus on the cross thing. Seeing pictures of him, with blood and he's all skinny and sad and it's terrible, terrible. And then on the other hand (or perhaps I should say paw) is the delightful and adorable Easter BUNNY... prancing about and mischievously hiding candy for all the boys and girls to find.

But keep the peeps bunny...

Even as a kid, I knew that the connection to these two things was really strange. They really had nothing to do with each other and if Jesus is hanging up there in all his misery, why are we eating candy? Well, actually we are eating candy as he is rising from the dead... which still is kind of creepy.

Well, here or rather “hares” the truth on the Easter bunny... or what it “probably” is but come on, it makes perfect sense...

The origin of the Easter Bunny probably goes back to the festival's connection with the pagan goddess Eostre. Eostre (sometimes spelt Oestre) was a fertility goddess from whom we derive the word "oestrogen" and she is closely associated with fertility symbols such as eggs. The rabbit is known as a highly fertile creature and hence an obvious choice for Easter symbolism. (origin of this quote)

So the word Easter is derived from a goddess and has nothing to do with Jesus. It means “estrogen” (see I told you god is a woman!) How did this all happen? I am certain it had to do with some sort of competition between the two religions... christianity and paganism. And just like we have tv sweeps and the better story or better deal gets more attention, instead of competing with each other, the two “shows” combined to make one big holiday. And it's very strange.

Yes, I as a happy child was to search for chocolate but also know that Jesus is rising from the dead today too. And that of course, the whole resurrection thing can be interpreted with Eggs... rebirth... I have also read people suggesting that the empty easter egg represents the empty tomb... what? And besides, easter eggs aren't empty, they are filled with jelly beans!

In all honesty, as a tot, when I searched for candy and toys, I didn't think about Jesus at all, he was upstaged by cadbury eggs.

Basically, my stand point is that it is all very silly. Not the fact that Jesus died on the cross... but the fact that these two holidays are smooshed together and many of us just go along for the ride and have no idea what it represents historically. I have always been interested in how and why and what... BUT if Easter is also meant to be a symbol of SPRING... well, take one look out my window and it doesn't look like Spring or ANY rebirth is coming anytime soon. It looks like early February.

And one other thing, I always enjoy seeing the chocolate crosses intermixed with the bunnies at Walgreens. Seriously... a chocolate CROSS... yes, kids, now you can EAT it!!!! (also comes in white chocolate variety).

The 80's show at Davenports...

2008-03-09T20:00:00.000-05:00

Last week I took part in a tribute to the music of the 1980's. In the first clip, I sing the songs, “Take On Me”(A-ha) and “Gloria” (Laura Branigan... loved her) and in the other clip, Laura Freeman and I sing, “Move On” from “Sunday in the Park with George.”
(Special thanks to Melissa Young and her husband who filmed the show.)
George Howe accompanies on piano.

the still of winter... still...

2008-03-09T10:33:00.000-05:00

Today, the Chicago Sun Times said that the weather would be crunchy!

Crunchy.

Crunchy? I immediately think of cereal.

Winter is NOT fortified with vitamins. It's just cold and hangs around too long. Go away winter. I am flicking the light switch on and off. Go. GO!!!!! Get outa here. Last call for Winter.

I noticed that aside from it being very cold, March came in like a lamb. So I guess it's going to go out like a lion and I am hoping this means delicious thunder storms and then April... warmer... rainy... worms coming up for a peek from sidewalk cracks. That wonderful clean smell in the air as we get weather washed and primed for spring. Rainy afternoons, dark out and making inside bright and cozy... comforting.

But for now, oh well... it's crunchy.

Debbie does... groovy?!

2008-03-09T10:30:00.000-05:00

My friend Alex put this up on her blog and I had to do the same. To me, this clip is the essence of SO many things I just love... the 60's, camp, old school stars trying to be hip... blows my mind.

BREAKING NEWS: Cutest Cat in the World Sits in Sink

2008-02-21T11:13:00.000-06:00

Something as simple as Sam in a sink can just make my entire day. He wouldn't budge either. I had to brush my teeth in the kitchen. Hey... HE makes the rules not me.

This cat is truly amazing. And not just because he's part of our feline family. His fur is made of real velveteen and I just love his pink nose. I could just kiss his pink nose over and over.

Yes, I am confessing here a sick, twisted obsession and so be it.

Pink kitty noses were put on earth not just for them to sniff with but for us to kiss.

He wakes me up in the morning by sneezing on purpose in my face. Nice, huh? And seriously, does it not because he has to sneeze but forces a sneeze to get me out of bed.
I cannot explain how disgusting a FORCED kitty sneeze is. It reminds me of this kid I knew who blew his nose in the snow without kleenex. Just GROSS. Cat's though, not as bad, so I use THAT as a comparison so I can tolerate this morning ritual.

It works like this:
Sam Smoolie Dorn Smith sneezes in my face and boom I am up and out of bed saying, “eeewwww gross... SAM!!!” wiping the kitty spew off of my face. He is already halfway to the kitchen. I guess he has me pretty well trained, huh?

Oprah

2008-02-15T18:38:00.000-06:00

HEY! I am on Oprah today! Well, in the audience at least...

Here's what I wrote about it (last week... oops forgot to post it)

Last wednesday we went to the Oprah show.

Talk about a well oiled machine.

It was so interesting to see how it's all done. I could have just sat there for hours watching the director and crew and Oprah relaxing in between camera time. The Oprah-bot actually does turn on and off but in a way that preserves her energy for the camera. She just has it down to such a “t” or rather, an “o.” Well she should seeing that she's been doing it forever.

I was hoping the show would feature celebrities. No.

I was hoping to see Nate. No.

... it was a fashion make-over show.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

BUT, at the end of the show, all the ladies who participated in the makeovers got $400. shopping sprees. And as the audience politely clapped for them, Oprah said, “and you're all getting one too!!!” The place erupted with screams of happiness. I like screams of happiness.

YAY!!!!

People just assume now when going on Oprah that you are going to get something.

It's fun to “win” something. Oprah rocks.

The show will appear next wednesday so squint and maybe you will see me. We were on the right hand side which would be oprah's stage left.

The set is TEENY!

First of all you wait for about two hours. Then you are ushered into the set.

A woman comes out to warm up the audience. Yes, we actually practice screaming and hollering and ooing and ahhhing.

People are buzzing about and then in comes Ms. Winfrey. “Hi!” she says strolling in casually, taking us all by surprise. The place goes psycho.

People are SO damned happy to see Oprah. But then she IS the queen of the world.

So odd to hear her voice in person. Such a familiar voice.

For whatever reason, let's just say it's a “rob dorn reason..” I call Oprah, “Kreesha Freesha.” The Kreesha thing makes sense because it has an ethnic ring to it, and “freesha...” well, that just goes so well with “kreesha” doesn't it? So that's what bubbled out when I came up with a nickname for her. And I didn't intentionally give her a nickname, it just occurs.

Throughout the years, I have given many people I admire nicknames... here are some of them:

Helen Randle... family friend. When I was ten and she was thirty-something, we hit it off and became bestest freinds. I have always loved her like crazy (I need to call her). Anyway, I gave her a long nickname based on all the people I thought she looked like...

“Dorothy Helen Annette Jackie O Randle”

My niece Maggie... “monkey bubble” (again... don't ask because I have no idea... I channel these names, remember.)

Debbie S (a first girlfriend... don't laugh) “Dubba” (that was an easy one)

Barb Black (high school bud giganticotis) “Flarbie”

Judy Lemke... it wasn't really a nickname, but when I would be going over to her house (I was five) I would chant, “dump dump JUDY! dump dump JUDY!!”

Jody Briskey... worked with her for years with “Three Hits and a Miss.” I started calling her “Lady” based on an edith ann (lily tomlin) impression. She didn't quite get that it was lily tomlin and would call ME lady too. Pretty soon EVERYONE was called Lady. I even called the audience lady once, during a moment of exhaustion on stage.... we were touring EVERY mid-size town in the country and I mean EVERY single one. This was somewhere between Nebraska and Texas I think.

Jason... Jeebs. I'm Dornie and he's Jeebs. Sort of comes around full circle with that one. I love that these names just BECOME your new name. I like nicknames. Nice ones. I won't reveal some of the evil bad Kharma nicknames I have given people over the years. I have to lay off as I am attempting to cleanse my aura... I'll let ya know when I come clean.

Tell a story...

2008-01-24T22:44:00.000-06:00

What a great Three Cat Thursday's show.

It was a last minute replacement.

Jason had to cover for an artist who had to cancel. So he called up three other “monologuests:” Roberta Miles, Jillian Ericson and Kelsie Huff and the four of them each told stories.

After listening to each of them, I came away with a head full of so many original images, images that I helped to create by listening to these stories... movies in my brain. I realized that it's important to have this experience... frequently. It's good to hear stories told by artists on a bare bones stage. The only thing to enhance the imagination is the sound of their voice, their facial expressions and the trip they take you on as you fill in the details, the pictures.

I felt like my mind got a great work out and it's a great addition to just watching tv and letting IT do all the work.

As a cabaret artist, I realize now how important it is to tell a story and ENGAGE the listener. Let them do the work too... a duet between you and the audience. You don't have to work as hard as you think... just TELL the story.

Negativity...

2008-01-22T08:19:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, apparently, was supposed to be the saddest day of the year. I had no idea of this concept until I read it in the news.
CNN should stand for “Constant Negative Network.”
I am bound and determined to rid myself of the negativity that clings to me like dust bunnies...
but it's difficult when every time I flip to cnn.com or any kind of news, I read such things as...

Bodies falling out of the sky.
Another dead baby recovered (from the father tossing them off the bridge incident)
Man attacks people at homeless shelter with a chainsaw.
Britney clings to screaming baby in her bathtub while family tries to intervene.
Sweeney Todd isn't nominated for best picture...

What's creepier than a circus clown?

2008-01-15T10:09:00.000-06:00

a GIRL circus clown.
Have happy dreams...

Carol Burnett...

2008-01-09T12:43:00.000-06:00

Back in “the day” whatever that's supposed to mean... I guess I am trying to say, back when I was a kid... I lived for Saturday night and the Carol Burnett Show. This is one of her best skits...

Whaddya mean cold?

2008-01-07T07:16:00.000-06:00

My last entry was entitled, “Frozen.”

It's Monday.
It's in the mid to upper 50's.
It's 7 am.
It's going to be in the 60's this afternoon. What the ...?!!?
Hey, I ain't complain'n!

Jason and I went to the Nature Museum yesterday. It felt like late April and we walked all over Lincoln Park. The museum was our destination. It's a cool museum. We were drawn to the place because we heard that you can go into this solarium and see hundreds of butterflies. Yep, that's exactly what it was. My favorites were the more moth like... had those wings that when spread look like a great horned owl. Amazingly bold blues and reds on some of these other ones and of course the Monarchs too. I was afraid I was going to step on one. I imagined then all of them turning on me. I also thought it was interesting that just because they were “pretty” you didn't freak out as much as if you went into a solarium filled with locusts or June bugs.
I also got to pet a very large snake. They have the softest skin... well rubbing in one direction they do (I know... this is sounding kinky)... but then you rub your hand the other way and it's scaly. (Scaley?) It was a boa constricter. Not a ten foot long one but a four foot long one. There were also giant lizard iguana's that looked like the kind of lizards they would use in one of those 1960's adventure movies like “Journey to the Center of the Earth” where they would set them loose on a miniature set and make you think (with the aid of a few extra plastic scales) that they were dinosaurs. (Never worked).

We couldn't get over how warm it was. I kept thinking how when I was a kid, at this time of year, it would be a winter wonderland and we would be out playing dressed like eskimo's and walking down our frozen creek that now became a path for us to explore. Yesterday... the geese and ducks seemed very confused.

FROZEN

2008-01-02T08:09:00.000-06:00

Frigid temperatures! I am preparing to embark on my arctic voyage to work. Long underwear (that depending I may remove when I get to the office) and my gigantic eskimo-esque (wonderful) parka. No snow shoes although that would make the outfit complete...

So, yes it's -12 degrees (wind chill) but when I looked at the extended forcast, by next monday it will be in the 50's.

WHAT?!

2008-01-01T10:52:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year! Wishing everyone a focused and productive new year, the ability to take breaks when needed, the ability and knowledge to refuel ourselves. Get lots of sleep, take naps... communicate with people directly and not just with “ :- )” Take time to make your surroundings nurturing. Balance work with play. Take chances... listen to your gut... really take the moment to listen because it is always telling you what is the right thing to do. Exercise... even if it is just choosing to walk to the store instead of driving to it. Read your favorite books again. Watch your favorite movies again. Read new books and watch new movies and find some NEW favorites. Watch and read THOSE over again. Don't watch as much broadcast television. Commercials are big brother trying to fill your head with crap. Walk away from the commercials if you have to watch tv. See if you can survive with just one favorite show a week. Instead of sitting on your couch watching others on tv doing things... go out and DO them yourself! If you are going to watch tv, be engaged. The minute it starts to get boring or you feel the vegetative state coming on... do something else... read something... write something... get up and run and dance around the room... ANYTHING. Go out more. Find free things to do in your community. Explore your neighborhood. Get to know the people who work in the stores and shops around you. Surprise people with homemade presents. Keep your house clean, sweep with a real old fashioned broom and not some swiffer thingie... sweeping is actually good exercise! Sweep even if there isn't anything TO sweep. Put on music and sweep to the music. Don't wear your shoes in the house. Listen to classical music.

Sweeney Todd...

2007-12-30T20:40:00.000-06:00

I saw the movie yesterday late afternoon.
Here are my thoughts...

Having been in the play for an extended run, I have an affection for the original score, etc. so there were some things missing for me. But I understood that this is a film adaptation and so to keep things moving along (in this day and age of minimal attention) things were trimmed. There were many musical/lyric moments cut that I noticed but someone who hasn't seen the show before wouldn't miss it. If anything, if the movie makes a fan of the show, they will delight in listening to the stage versions and discover the additional lyrics.

I thought that the art direction was fantastic. It was so rich and detailed and just plain wonderful. It was the perfect vision of this play on the movie screen. Again, knowing this musical as well as I do it was very satisfying to see scene after scene being treated with absolute perfection. I also sensed that the production team had a fondness for the original as there were several classic moments visually for instance the end of “Priest.” I loved them looking out the window at the world.

I loved Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett. She was so perfectly deadpan which was an entirely new approach to the character. Lines like, “Flies do too” and “shepherds pie peppered with actual shepherd on top...” were prize winning.

Johnny Depp... I have always thought that a sexy Sweeney Todd is a successful Sweeney Todd. When I did the show years ago, our Sweeney had so much sex appeal that it gave the audience that errie combination of being hot for the person and at the same time absolutely horrified by him. This makes it feasable to understand how Todd could get away with what he is doing. And ofcourse, it makes the movie all the more worth watching. Johnny Depp didn't have the most incredible voice but his presence and just the fact that he was DOING it was great. He is such a great performer. The look on his face when he first finds out what has happened to his wife is priceless. His “Epiphany” was goose bumpable and I also loved during the “By The Sea” song how dark he remained in contrast to Lovett's enthusiasm.

Alan Rickman as the Judge was good but I thought he was too good looking. I have always thought of the Judge as being creepy and disgusting and perverted... but still he was great. The Beadle was perfect. I have never seen TEETH act as well as they did in this role. Sasha Baron Cohen as Pirelli... perfect. I love the Pope line.

I did not like Tobias. I thought it was a good idea to portray him in the film as a young boy but I thought the actor was too smart and kind of boring. Johanna was perfect. Anthony was terrible. I got so sick of hearing him sing the Johanna song. And I thought it was kind of funny that after he got beaten up by the Beadle that he gets up and staggers into the street and singing again full out.

The throat slashing was excellent. I know that sounds gross, but it was SO over the top that it was deliciously awful. What I thought was worse was when they would slide down the chute and hit their heads on the stone floor below. OUCH! Again, it was SO awful it was funny which is the point of the musical... I mean, how great is it to get to ride so many emotions in one sitting.

I didn't like the ending when he... oh wait I don't want to give it away. Let's just say it was a bit tired. ALTHOUGH I loved it when he threw her in the... oh wait... damn. Can't say that either. Let's just say at that moment in the film her performance was on fire!!!!

So go and see it... it's a perfect adaptation of a musical to the screen. Because it is right up in your face, much of it is understated and underplayed and because it is so realized visually, the performers don't have to work so hard. It works. Yay! Sweeney Todd made into a successful movie!!!

More please.

Note: Photo by Peter Mountain/DreamWorks-Warner Brothers

Michael, honey...

2007-12-21T21:52:00.000-06:00

I am not one to spread gossip... HOWEVER... I couldn't resist...

Michael Jackson undergoes emergency surgery?
Posted on Friday, December 21, 2007 (EST)
There are reports that Michael Jackson had to undergo emergency surgery after his young son, Prince Michael II, accidentally punched him in the face, causing his lips to "burst".

Ok. First of all, the name of his kid. Is he just being really creepy on purpose?! Is it a joke. Is his kids real name Steven but they tell the public his name is Prince Michael II (because ya know, his FIRST son is seriously, Prince Michael I... makes me think of the cat in the hat for some reason).

And then at the end of the little blurb... his lips “burst.”
WHO's lips burst?

Oh wait... another Seuss reference... if I am not mistaken, a WHO's lips just MIGHT burst.
Horton the elephant listens very carefully to the dust particle on the flower and he hears...

“because I'm Bad, I'm Bad... Juh-moan!!!”

our neighbors...

2007-12-15T22:50:00.000-06:00

Rule of thumb... do not live below a family with two children under the age of five.

They were gone for a week or so. On a vacation. It was bliss. The moment they returned, the stomping and running and banging began. These two children are allowed to run the length of the apartment back and forth and back and forth marathon style.

We have complained numerous times.
Oh but they're just kids. There's nothing to be done about it.
They have even had the children come down and apologize.
We were offered cookies once as a bribe I mean a peace offering.
And then later that day the running and clomping and jumping and banging starts up again.

The nerve making their children apologize.
It's not the kids fault.
It's the parents not having the sense, the courtesy and the respect of condo living to make it a rule in the house that there is to be no running. I remember when I was growing up in a house where the only thing below us was a basement and even then we were not allowed to run through the house.

It's frustrating because legally there isn't much if anything that we can do.
And it seriously has gone beyond anything acceptable. We are tired of complaining. We actually just yell up from our condo to theirs. I have even considered late in the night belting out “TOMORROW TOMORROW!!!!” but then that wouldn't be fair to the other neighbors.
We have also considered one of those blow horn aerosol can things but that would freak the cats out even more than they already are.

So all we can do is hope that they decide to move.
PLEASE move.

I ain't “lion” this is unbelievable...

2007-12-07T08:46:00.000-06:00

This is a video showing a woman being reunited with a Lion she had found when it was inured, near death and she nursed him back to health. She made arrangements for a zoo to give the lion a happy home. Here she is visiting him after some time had passed...

http://www.truveo.com/Amazing-Lion-Hug/id/3076610323

Rob Dorn's Wonderland Holiday Show!

2007-12-06T19:29:00.000-06:00

Hello one and all...
Whether you live in Chicago or not, I thought I would send out a blurb
about my upcoming Holiday Show.
Fellow Chicagoans... hope to see you there. Out of towners... if you
know of anyone in the Chicago area who might enjoy my show, forward
this on. On Donner, on Blitzen, on Email... you get the drift.

ROB DORN: WONDERLAND
a special Three Cat Thursdays Holiday Special
Come on over to the Gorilla Tango Theatre on Thursday December 13th
Tell jack frost to give your nose a break and have yourself a merry
little hour of FUN!

I will be presenting songs from my holiday cd, “Wonderland,” and will
have special guests. There will be “Wonderland” cd give-aways and two
very special prizes, a starter website design AND a postcard or cd
package design to help two lucky independent artists start the new
year out right! It could be YOU!

The show is one hour long and starts promptly at 8PM

ADVANCED TICKET PURCHASES ARE STRONGLY RECOMMENDED. Tickets are $10
(CCP MEMBERS RECEIVE TWO FOR ONES). All shows are at Gorilla Tango
Theater which is located at 1919 N. Milwaukee Ave. in Chicago

Tickets can be reserved by calling 773.598.4549

banging our heads against a brick wall...

2007-12-06T08:54:00.000-06:00

so this mentally disturbed teenager goes and kills seven people at a mall, shooting many others and declares in a suicide note that now he will be famous... and his wish is granted.
There he is splashed all over the news. Big slightly blurry picture and all the dramatic headlines he hoped for.
Everytime this thing happens, we give them exactly what they want and now all the wannabe's out there are given confirmation that if they too want to be famous all they have to do is...

why? when will the media learn?

Rachel Weitz as Snow White...

2007-12-02T11:02:00.000-06:00

I have been enjoying the ads that showcase various stars as Disney characters. Beyonce as Alice in Wonderland, Scarlett Johansen as Cinderella. But the one that took it over the top for me (happily so) was Rachel Weitz as Snow White. It's absolute perfection.

I have always loved Snow White. I loved the way she looked. I loved her dress. Loved the puffy blue sleeves with the red underneath and the golden skirt. When I was a kid she was one of the most frequent things I would draw. I learned alot about drawing from seeing images from that movie. As a testament to who she is as an actress, Rachel Weitz literally just becomes Snow White without a doubt and all she is doing is just sitting there in a forest glen. The cartoon character image that is seared in our minds becomes reality. I love it. Poofy sleeves and all. In this photo and in the art direction of it, the iconic dress is exact and immediatley informs us as to who it is. But what you really see is her face taking all that is happening around her and just making it magical. Not so easy a task.

Speaking of cartoon characters becoming reality, we saw “Enchanted” yesterday afternoon. Amy Adams and the rest of the cast are perfect as well. It reminded me of the kind of cast we've seen in “Wizard of Oz,” “Mary Poppins,” etc. I don't think anyone else could have played this part more convincingly without it turning into a parody. The minute it edges towards parody, Amy Adams surprises by making the most ridiculous moments absolutely believable. The little girl was great as well. The look in her eyes as she watches Amy throughout the movie is priceless. I loved the scene where she cleans up Patrick Dempsey's apartment. She opens the window and musically calls out to all her New York animal friends to help her. Rats, flies, cockroaches and Pigeons all come to her aid. The lyrics to the song were hysterical as well.

Tra la la la la la laaaaaaa!

2007-11-23T07:19:00.000-06:00

“You will be a bust, be a bust, be a bust in the hall of fame...”

Munchkins from "The Wizard of Oz" celebrate receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at Grauman's Chinese Theatre, site of the film's 1939 premiere, in Los Angeles Tuesday, Nov. 20, 2007. The Munchkins from left: Mickey Carroll, the Town Crier; Jerry Maren, part of the Lollipop Guild; stepping on the star, Ruth Duccini, a Munchkin villager; Margaret Pelligrini, the "sleepyhead" Munchkin and Meinhardt Raabe, the coroner. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)

Thanksgiving approaches...

2007-11-20T19:54:00.000-06:00

We will have a nice Thanksgiving this year. Jason is already cooking. We will have our friends Dorothy and Mark down from Minneapolis, joined on Thursday by my parents and brother.

The other day I had the best time with the lady who works at the dry cleaners kitty corner from our house. She is an older Japanese woman and barely speaks English. As we were attempting to communicate, she knew that her English was terrible and it just amused her to no end. She kept laughing and laughing as we slowly went through the process of filling out the form, etc.

One thing that struck me though was that even though we didn't know each others languages, our laughing was IN the same language. It was interesting to me... her musical laughter. No accent, no unique cadence... just pure laughter. Laughter you will here all over the country in a hundred different languages... the laughter is universal. She had me laughing too and out onto the street and to the train.

More Phone “fun”

2007-11-19T22:03:00.000-06:00

So, the lady in India said to me, “go... go my child to your local T-Mobile store for I can no longer do anything to help you.”

“You mean, I have to go to a real live store and face real live people? But this is why I have a cel phone in the first place. Don't ruin the fun for me.”

“No, no my child, run like the wind in your city of wind to the T-Mobile on the street you call State, kitty corner from the department store once called Marshall Fields...”

“mmm k”

So I went.

I went on my way to work. But I did, indeed have to go out of my way. (uh-oh)

So, seriously, I went in there, waited in the longish line, and when I got to a sales rep consultant engineer trainee peep, SHE TOLD ME TO GO CALL THE T-MOBLE TECHNICIAN ON THE PHONE!!!!!!!

I didn't need to come to a real live store. And they wouldn't or couldn't help me directly.

I had to call someone on the phone. And then she dialed the wrong number and I had to talk to someone who was pissed off because he keeps getting calls from people looking for T-Mobile.

I told the sales rep consultant engineer trainee peep that the lady from India told me I had to come to a real live store.

“Yeah...” Ms. T said with a bit of sass... “she don't know what she's talkin' bout.”

I was mad.

T-Mobile is creepy.

It all ended good. I came out better on the other side. A charming gentlemen named Aaron saved the day.

I have never had an experience of loathing something and loving something at the same time.

My pretty little shiny piece of @#$%. That makes me go out of my way!

I have to work on my negative feelings toward my phone.

I need to smudge it.

Out of the mouths of babes...

2007-11-18T10:27:00.000-06:00

Nicki Blonski (sp) who played Tracy Turnblad in the movie version of the musical “Hairspray” had THIS to say when asked what her favorite scene was in the film...

"Yes, when I'm doing 'Welcome to the '60s' with John [Travolta, as mom Edna] — the biggest musical star of our time.”

Ok then... I didn't KNOW that. Biggest as in he was wearing a fat suit? Biggest because the last musical he did was more than thirty years ago? Biggest because Nicki is now driving around in a brand new sports car purchased for her by someone who used to welcome back a teacher known as Kotter? Biggest because I am bored on a sunday morning and need to stop this mindless blogging and go be productive?

Why, yes, I think THAT is the correct answer.

two dixie cups and a string...

2007-11-18T09:42:00.000-06:00

I have probably blogged about this before but obviously I haven't worked through it enough.

Cel phones.

Cute little plastic or metal devices that attract us to them because they are so shiny and pretty and “cool.” They are the happy go lucky puppets being controlled by....

the EVIL cel phone companies.

(insert thunderclap)

Seriously, they are the evil five million fingers of Doctor whoever wicked witch of the Freddy Krueger BULLIES that take hold of your balls (if you have them) and pretty much OWN you. They own you. They have a contract on you. Through smoke and mirrors they convince you to sign your life away for two years (at least) and you pretty much can't do ANYTHING that strays from this contract without paying big chunks of money. The cel phone company is this enormous chomping monster eating your money. Yum, yum, YUM... chomp, chomp, chomp.

And THEN after you get your first phone they hypnotize you and parade you in front of really cool new phones on a bi-monthly if not weekly basis with beautiful full color gigantic ads with the happiest people you have ever seen in your life talking on their NEW extra even more so cooler phone that you can't have unless you pay much much more than what it says initially on the poster.

If. IF you break the contract it costs you. Jason and I were on a shared plan. He was the one who set it up initially so he was the authority on the account (authority my eye) and so HE was seduced by the iPhone and left our current company to go be with the good people of the iPhone. (Not actual name of company).

I was then left alone to fend for myself in this weird sort of middle ground where I wasn't the authority of anything involving this metalic shiny christmas light thing I carry around in my pocket and it constantly bothers me and needs my attention and especially when I am nowhere near it and it calls out beckoning me and I can't find it because I took it OUT of my pocket.

(God, do I LOVE a run on sentence!)

So now, I spent a lovely hour with a darling gal at the phone company attaining my so called “authority.” She actually talked like one of the robots. I found myself doing the same thing when giving her all my info. (Oddly, when I say my name, I always say, ‘that's Robert F Dorn... F as in Frank... when my actual middle name is Frederick.)

She is required now to inform me that she will be reading from a script when she goes through the process. Oh really? And here I thought you spoke so eloquently. So as she reads me this script I am so tempted to stop her and say, “ok... now, what is your intention when you are saying that line?” But I don't because the phone company has actually put a cork in my teretz style sense of humor. And we already know what that bitches intentions are... (insert second thunderclap)

So after ALL of that... all of the answers, the information given, all of the threats that I might have to start the contract ALL over because basically I never really had any kind of ownership of this account, it was all Jason's and he left us... left us cold for that slutty iPhone. Here I was with a Razr to take care of and I just might be kicked back to zero which means I would have to endure another two years before I would have any kind of clout.

Thankfully, that was not the case. I just took over the contract. So as of next year at this time I can actually consider buying another phone without having to give up the farm. So all is done, right? Right robot sounding lady?... who is probably sipping a diet coke in India as we go through this lengthy process...

She tells me that she has done all she can with me and now it is up to me to go to the cel phone dealer store and choose my plan and all that stuff. “You mean online?” I ask. “No to an actual store.”

Oh my god... she is telling me to actually go outside and go to a real store where there are real people who actually live in my country and will actually talk to me and look into my eyes and hold me if I cry suddenly and assure me that that whole “big brother is watching me” thing WAS and IS only a movie.

F%$#K I have to leave my house.

End of Innocence...

2007-11-17T08:17:00.000-06:00

Get a load of these pics side by side... it's Lindsay Lohan when she was thirteen years old (on the left) and on the right is her little sister CURRENTLY thirteen. Look at how OLD she looks! It's how they are marketing her as a budding singer.

I think that this is sad.

I think it is a direct result of money hungry producers and whoever else whoring a child... (my opinion)

She looks GREAT but a thirteen year old? She looks twenty five.

Freaks me out.

Makes me glad I could actually BE thirteen back WHEN I was. I had a big head, bowl cut, skinny as a flagpole. (FLAG pole).

Ok. It's early.

Zzzzzzzzzz.......

Rob Dorn: Wonderland (giving you a little advance notice)

2007-11-13T21:01:00.000-06:00

Rob Dorn: Wonderland (giving you a little advance notice)
Originally uploaded by robdorn

Inspired by Vince Guaraldi’s ‘The Charlie Brown Christmas’ album
from the 1960’s, I’ve paired that with my love for such singing
greats as Vic Damone, Andy Williams and Nat King Cole. Songs include:
holly jolly christmas • caroling, caroling • have yourself a merry
little christmas • i’ll be home for christmas • santa claus is
comin’ to town • christmas time is here • sleigh ride • let it
snow • o christmas tree • the christmas song and the song that
inspires the cd’s title: winter wonderland

Wonderland can be purchased through CD BABY...
http://cdbaby.com/cd/robdorn2

May I be the first to wish you Happy Holidays!!!

Rob
http://robdorn.com
http://threecatmedia.com

Hey Bert!

2007-11-04T21:44:00.000-06:00

Everyone thought Jason should be Bert because he's taller. But we chose roles based on our personalities and also the fact that Jason does a dead on Ernie impression. My Bert ain't half bad either.

One of my favorite moments of the night was stopping at Jewel to get a bottle of wine for the host of the party we were attending.

The noses are very uncomfortable. Although it did accentuate my Bert impression.

Parker with a “P”

2007-11-04T11:24:00.000-06:00

Look at Parker! He's nearly grown now. Still a kitten at heart though. He is just now learning to really jump. Isn't he CUTE?!!!!!! I've nicknamed him “P.” Jason calls him “Weiner.”
He is a very busy cat and instead of bugging me to get up to feed him he just wants me to get up and play. “Can't help lovin' that cat of ours!”